Blogdamnit! What in de heyall is dis?

Been awhile....

2008-09-17T00:39:00.002-04:00

I dont know why I stopped writing in my blog. I stopped reading it, telling everyone about it, just, plain, stopped.

It's late, and I am thinking about my son, who has become this little man now. He chats with me on the phone, asks me how my day was and loves to practice writing letters and spelling. This all brings back memories, this blog of mine, of when I was new to juggling mommyhood alone. Now its easy. Now I know what I am doing! Now he gets up on his own, gets dressed on his own, feeds himself, turns on the tv....

He always wears his shoes on the wrong feet. He puts his "clotheses" on backwards, and it just cracks me up. The vocab gets better and better growing from "hers tired mommy" to "she is tired mommy". His spiderman addiction is still going strong, he wants to be a police man AND an astronaut. He loves to draw, paint, read and create. Sports....not so much. I enrolled him in t-ball and soccer only to spend the majority of the game prying him off my leg while he screamed. So we will stick to art!

He calls fruit punch, "juice pump". Not sure why but maybe its a variation of "juice box" and fruit "punch"? The best one was when I had raced my matchbox car so fast I won, whereby he declared I won a "pissing cup" with so much enthusiasm I had to sit down! What on earth is a pissing cup?! Well, a YEAR LATER I watched Cars, and learned of the PISTON CUP. Very similar.

He believes there is a turbo button in my car that gets us home faster, just like I believed when I was little girl. My dad would puff out his cheeks and blow air through his lips making a raspberry sound as he flipped open the cigarette lighter. It was a very impressive display for a turbo button on a Dodge Caravan.

Ode to Jack Hammers

2008-02-23T15:50:00.000-05:00

My son the dancing artist (sorry it's not vertical)

2008-02-23T15:47:00.000-05:00

In pursuit of 2008

2007-12-29T14:25:00.000-05:00

If only 2008 would hurry up I might maintain the optimism one needs to endure another round of the holidays. It simply doesn't matter how many plans I make, they rip open a scab and exasperate the loneliness joint custody creates. Regardless, they always pass and then the new year begins. I am going to make a nice dinner full of red things and tangerines for my friends on February 7th, to celebrate the 2008 Chinese New Year. This holiday is less about what you buy someone and more about the luck you give to them. I prefer that.http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.photo.gif

Today I noticed that I post daily affirmations all over my life, on my desk at work, on my fridge, on my blackberry. I added "what are you waiting for?" this month. Good question. People dont often see that they are the reason they are unhappy. Stop waiting for others to swoop down and call in the Red Cross for you. Others I enjoy are "Diamonds are only lumps of coals that really stuck to their jobs" and "life is what happens while everyone else complains about it" or something like that! This spurred some new years resolutions that rhyme:

"Make it GREAT in 08"
"No more real estate in 08"
"Dont hesitate in 2008"
"why wait in 08"
and my favorite "Feelin' great in 08"

ok I know overkill, but funny. Resolutions should be simple, so you can remember them. I have others but sharing them with the world wide web seems wrong and I believe I need all the help I can get. 2007's was to "simplify" which was a bust. I've managed to step on that one as I drive or fly hither and dither to accommodate a new school, new job and new clients. Where did resolutions come from anyway?? Who's idea was this? And what on earth is with the weight loss craze?

I will incorporate margaritas, meditation (serenity now!) and patience into my resolution. That's all i got right now.

Happy Holidays!
Flydi

Sudden loss of life

2007-11-19T23:07:00.000-05:00

This friend of mine died suddenly on November 10th. I simply love this picture of her, and am still having a hard time believing she has passed away. I havent felt grief in this way before, I cant seem to purge it. Time heals all wounds, but this situation - a healthy vivacious 35 year old woman losing her life is a bit terrifying. I only hope I live my life full, that I dont cheat myself out of experiences and opportunity. Thank god she exemplified "live each day like it is your last". She was fearless, and confidently pursued her dreams and had opened her own salon recently. I was so proud of her!She possessed a magnetic personalty who embraced others without changing a drop of her fun, upbeat self.

Ironically, she cut my hair a week before she died. My hair cuts take 3-4 hours, and were a respite I looked forward to. I sit here asking myself, had I known that was the last time I would have with her would I have done anything different?

Not sure yet...
Flydi

Big Bad Birthday in Boston

2007-11-12T23:13:00.000-05:00

Some of us, whom shall remain nameless, had a birthday last week. This particular individual had never been to Beantown and fearlessly hired Delta to bring her there with me. So. We walk, everywhere, as required by these cities affectionately referred to as "a walking city". Us or THEM-there Atlantans dont know what this means really. They wear dressy boots and things and complain about the cold, etc.

I love this woman so dearly, and often times she says "If I were a man we'd be a couple". I get this a lot from my girlfriends. But this one in particular feels like she saved my life. My inner-life, that fire, the one that creates witty posts for everyone to read. Her phone will ring at all hours of the night with either a half-crazed friend calling about a great date she just went on or a weepy puddle who has just dropped off her child on the infamous "wednesday". Whereby her heart is rendered useless in an instant as she (me) walks away from the warmth of that little whirling dervish. This friend always has the perfect thing to say, the perfect response to my blubbering and self pity. "Yes, yes you ARE indeed dysfunctional. But, I LOVE ya!" She single-handedly changed my opinion of single motherhood. That lonely place I was too numb to acknowledge has become a pillar of my identity.

Her happiness has become somewhat of a mission of mine. I might have overdone it in Boston too as she doesnt recognize the pictures I took of her at The Canal in Boston (too many shots I suppose). I mean, they were taken just before last call, who remembers what they were doing then most of the time? The next day she suffered through a history lesson by my father on the Revolutionary War and a detailed narrative of random gravesites of British soldiers. He drove all over, stomping on the breaks to make sure she saw all of the amazing history Paul Revere is known for, including where he was arrested. You get the picture. "Look, more British soldiers!" my stepmother would say - and she would dutifully look and say "wow, that's great."

I wish I could give her that Snow White-like mirror that tells her she is the farest of them all. She is stunning and laughs at herself, with everyone and for no reason at all. Her sense of humor could put anyone to shame, but her humbleness touches everyone who knows her.

May you always eat pizza with a cape on JH!
Happy Birthday,
love
Flydi

Sage Advice

2007-11-10T23:11:00.000-05:00

Mi Padre screwed my head on with a stellar statement this evening. We were waiting for our reservation at the Wayside Inn, which, by the way can single-handedly render you unconscious due to ingesting too much good food. After a tour of their grist mill I strapped on the feed bag and had at it as though I, myself, had marched like the British Redcoats from Boston to Lexington overnight.
He sat next to me in a historically creaky old chair and said "How can you drive straight down the road to your future if you are constantly looking in the rear view mirror?"

SlideShow

2007-10-30T00:59:00.000-04:00

Fettucini anyone?

2007-10-30T00:25:00.000-04:00

I brought home my side of fettuccine alfredo from Maggiano's one day, as I knew my son would love it. He could eat it - and back then he would sit in his high chair in the kitchen while I would try to find something that he would eat. I was so proud of him when I noticed all the noodles were gone from his tray! He was EATING! Eureka!

Nope.

My dog strolled by sniffing the floor for the bits he inevitably through on the floor, covered in fettuccine. He had been throwing the noodles on HER as she walked by! Hilarious.

October, three years later

2007-10-30T00:19:00.000-04:00

This picture was taken three years ago! Let me just say that he dug that carrot out of the fridge himself, to naw on it with his three teeth. He just couldnt resist showing me his "find" and by the look on his face he knows how proud of him I am.

Breaking up and Opening Up

2007-10-23T21:02:00.000-04:00

How do you let a man "in" when all that you have known has been painful? Do you continue to hope it wont hurt this time? How does that quote go again, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"....

I feel that way as I type this. John Hiatt seems to have a way to get in there to my heart and the words are pouring from my fingers. His "Have a Little Faith In Me" has always been a top five favorite for me. His lyrics are so beautiful. So hopefully *someone* will step up and love me like this.

When the road gets dark, And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark, And have a little faith in me
And when the tears you cry, Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me
And Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
When your secret heart, Cannot speak so easily, Come here darlin
From a whisper start, To have a little faith in me
And when your backs against the wall, Just turn around and you will see
I will catch, I will catch your fall baby
Just have a little faith in me
Chorus (Sung over fade)
Well, Ive been loving you for such a long time girl
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
cause for us there is no end
And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me
I said I will hold you up, I will hold you up
Your love gives me strength enough
So have a little faith in me

I have spent enough time sitting on sofas talking about my feelings and playing with a mini-zen garden - all of which seems to have a numbing effect on my overactive brain, to take up 6 months non-stop. How can I stop this train and end up with something deep and meaningful that doesnt suck the life out of me? I want to be loved for who I am, not what I can do for someone. Yeah yeah, I can hear it now - "oh poor baby, the tall blonde doesnt feel loved". I KNOW! How pathetic right?

From a romance standpoint - why does it seem to be so hit or miss? It's REALLY not that hard to do. Women love it, always. We always want to be the one who gets the flowers. Our gaze following the receptionist as she delivers the bouqet to the lucky "winner". Trust me, this happens. Flowers arrive at work and have yet to be delivered, all of the women wonder "could they be for me?". Trust me on this one guys - send flowers and dont put who it's from and see what happens.

Flydi

Go Scott Rigsby!

2007-10-21T23:59:00.000-04:00

So, I just scurried around my house looking for my heart rate monitor in an attempt to pack my bag for the gym tomorrow. I plan to go at lunch, for many many reasons. The first being I simply have no time to go in the morning - nor do I have someone other than my dog to watch my son. After work seems to be full of networking events, long hours and overall social stuff - so lunch it is. I can do this, I have done it before - kicking my own ass at lunch also gets me out of the office. Lately I cant seem to find time to even leave for lunch. Anyway, I found 1/2 of my heart rate monitor - the chest strap part, but the watch part that actually tells me how my heart feels about the nonsense I am putting myself through appears to be MIA. This coincides with how far off the fitness wagon I have fallen - log rolling my way into happy hours and french fries, I dont KNOW where my heart rate monitor IS? There was a time when that was always on my mantel, right next to my reflective safety vest I wore to run at night with.

Next, I reunited with my Nike+ device and running shorts. This bag sits ready to go by the door as a result of this man, Scott Rigsby. His story is all over the web today as he has just finished his first Ironman. He finished just under 17 hours, which makes me look up at my ceiling and say out loud to the cobwebs "I cant think of anything I have done for 17 hours". I met Scott at a couple of races, and just today realized I had taken this picture of his legs. There they are, red flames and all waiting for him to come out of his swim, just next to the START sign. This composition holds so much meaning. So many of us never start anything, we just think about it, talk about it, worry about it and stuff it away. Starting has power, and can single handedly unleash a monster built on determination and pride. I speak from experience having never run a 5K to finishing 5 triathlons in two years. I run 5K's several times a year now, I look forward to them! It's truly amazing what you can accomplish by simply starting and committing to it. I bet Scott never planned to be known as the first double amputee to complete an Ironman Triathlon. A sponsored, accomplished athlete and motivation to all.

Reading this article that the AJC published today motivated me to share this all with you, in case you needed a reason to stop feeling bad for yourself - something I call "perspective". It works for me every time.

I wanted a boob job, instead I got a furnace....

2007-10-13T23:46:00.000-04:00

What part of "boob job" rhymes with "furnace"? None of it, it simply doesnt. One poor soul had to give up her dream of big bouncy new breasts because her furnace died. I DIED when these words fell from her lips into her Pabst Blue Ribbon. See what happens to us independent broads? We own houses, have fancy jobs, make our own money - plan to PAY FOR OWN BOOB JOBS, but along comes the "Mrs. Fix It Fairy" and says "No boobs for you!" a new furnace will do. I personally miss my perky 34C's - they were sexy, I didn't always fit in button down shirts. Now thanks to a child and hundreds of laps in a pool I can fit in button down shirts just fine - along with my push-up bra. It's depressing. Those luscious fake, full breasts tantalize us women as much as they fool men. Curses you society! How dare ye put thine superficial paws on me! Swimming has mainly detracted from my former bustline, while adding to my endurance, confidence and sanity - but who cares? Firm shoulders aren't the same as firm breasts. Giving birth took me out of the "firm, perky" league and dropped me off 'round da cahna next to the training bras. What the hell is that about? See we all agreed that "going up one cup size" would be fine. "Oh I don't want big Pam Anderson titties" one declares... I just want to be a little bigger. I just want to rid myself of this recent delusion that bigger breasts are the way to go.

Independence be damned!

Flamingos by the Yard

2007-10-06T21:47:00.002-04:00

Please someone do this to me, or someone we know and take pictures. Actually - I am going to do this to my DAD. He would take one look at that and know it was me. This is his warning.

"If you're looking for something a little out of the ordinary, try Flamingos By The Yard®. In the middle of the night our sneaky staff will fill the victim's yard with up to forty plastic pink flamingos and a six foot banner stating the occasion. Imagine their surprise as they pull their car out to go to work at 6:00 AM and see their yard swarming with these exotic birds! The flock will disappear the following evening leaving a fond memory of their visit (and no bird droppings!!!).
We also can deliver Penguins, Cows, Pigs, Tombstones, and Hearts! CALL TODAY!"

Tombstones? Pigs? This is truly fantastic. So I searched for an image to post here to aid in the visuals and came across T-Rex's in the front yard. Aliens would be good. Midgets too.

Enjoy.

Flydi

Paradigm Shift...so cliche!

2007-10-06T21:21:00.000-04:00

Thank god I am divorced. I truly feel that way. I have officially been divorced longer than I was married now - and my son, well 75% of his life he has now spent shuffling between two houses. I dont regret my decision in any way shape or form. Yes it affects my son, but this is his life and he will have things to sort out, understand, hate - and I will help him through it all, to see how important it is to take care of yourself.

He's protective of me now, and thrives on helping me carry something. I am afraid that this will magnify for him as he gets older and I continue to date. Part of me wishes I could have just settled down with someone and given him that stable world, but that word "settle" freaks me out. I just dont see how I can be ME and be married? How does that work when you are bored? What do you do? Some dont hate their spouse, they just arent excited anymore, but their world grows emptier and emptier - the ol' "Lonely in a crowd of people" feeeling.

For the first time in my life I am experiencing a major major roll reversal. I dont want to get married and my boyfriend does. He wants to be a young dad, he is in love with me and is clearly daydreaming about a candlelit wedding full of family and friends. He is shocked that I dont discuss my "ideal wedding" randomly like "most women". I have ripped his heart out over this topic, THEN I froze it with my bare hands - all because he was curious about my reaction to proposing. Perhaps time is all we need, I see major differences - ones I cant change, nor can he, and I have comfortably settled into a view of "this isnt going to work". 7 months isnt enough time to know for sure about the rest of your life. But here I am, I am the one saying "why do you want to get married so bad?!". Isnt that a guy thing to do?? Memories of the giant engagement ring an x gave me come back. I felt branded, controlled, trapped. These are not the right feelings. I would forget to put it on, and he would flip out and turn the car around and make me wear it. Shouldn't I want to wear it?

I want to feel like my heart will die if that person isn't in my life. I want to feel honored to wear the ring, not embarrassed. I want to feel secure in my decision to "forsake all others". I want a bond like the one people think my twin brother and I have, you know what I mean. "If he gets hurt do you feel it?". I have said this before, I want him to challenge me - intellectual intercourse that leaves me aching for more. So here I am, staring at the cursor, fully content with my life - the nightmare my man is enduring. My insecurities no longer drive me to make needy decisions (quick let's get married!), and my life will be fun and lively with or without a man.

I make no apologies for this stance, I only wish I figured it out sooner.
Flydi

MiniEgo.com

2007-09-17T22:37:00.000-04:00

"Cause we love Caulk!"

2007-09-17T21:47:00.000-04:00

I was in a sales presentation five years ago. The room was full of golf-shirt wearing men, about 200 of them, and I was teaching them how to sell leasing as a way of financing their customers expensive commercial painting equipment. Sexy job I know, but I sold my butt off in this job and traveled to sexy places called Albany. Albany is not pronounced ALL-bahny here in Georgia. It's AlllBainieeeeee? And there are more tractors there then people.

So...back to the meeting. 200 men, 2 women - both of whom are presenting. I sat down, in the back of the room as this lovely woman stepped and cheerleaded her way into history. She is apparently married to the man who supplies Sherwin Williams with all of their non-paint items.

"The quickest way to increase your sales is to?........"

The whole room responds with "sell non-paint items". And she continues, and man she is fired up! She is waving her hand in the air, she is projecting her voice perfectly and her perfect pumps are marching her ferociously up and down the center aisle of the Radisson Hotel ballroom. Then she says:

"That's right! Rollers, Paint Brushes and ?......"

And the room quietly mutters Caulk, chuckling to themselves. She trumps them, not even knowing it she SHOUTS out:

"Thats right! I LOVE CAULK!"

I sat there bewildered for a moment, unable to throw her a life line in any way. I felt so embarrassed for her. The whole room followed my same process, "pregnant" pause then fits of laughter. Now, let me explain her side of this. She said that cause the more Caulk the managers sell the more money her husband makes. So she really does love Caulk, just a different kind, bless her heart.

Flydi

Medieval Menthol Diapers

2007-08-23T17:01:00.001-04:00

Dating a single mom requires a sense of humor. Seriously. It makes me feel vulnerable as I truly cant control what my 4 year old chooses to say (calling you his dad or some other male name) or for that matter DO. These moments should be embraced, remembered and reiterated at the perfect moment during Thanksgiving with his new girlfriend on a short visit to his "crazy moms" house. My boyfriend lives a caring, loving life with an infectious enthusiasm, THANK GOD cause I just cant imagine what I would have done if I found a used diaper in my messenger bag.

Yes. A used diaper. I left at oh-dark-thirty in the morning to bring my son to his new school, leaving my man sound asleep. Later, at a more reasonable time like 8 am, this lovely man gathered his things to head off to work he noticed that my son had disposed of his used "Feel-n-Learn" Pull-Up in his WORK BAG. Every night my son wears a diaper and now that he dresses himself he ALWAYS throws it in the trash. I almost didnt believe him when he told me about the "surprise" he found in his bag that morning.

Now, these diapers have some medieval menthol experience which helps him "learn" when he is wet and to get up and go to the bathroom. Not get up, take it off and toss it into the nearest bag!

Yay motherhood!

Guitar Hero

2007-08-23T15:36:00.000-04:00

Have you played this game? Run, dont walk to the nearest Target and buy this game. This is me, at our LA office where we run and manage the Activision account. We have to work very hard at making their products appear very well online so in order to do so you must be familiar with their products. Hence why I was playing video games at work.

You'll see. you'll become just as addicted as all of the maniacs on YouTube.

enjoy!

Comcast debacle

2007-06-13T16:25:00.000-04:00

Our next available time slot to connect your cable is on 6/27 or 7/10.

I am moving you see and a girl's gotta have her internet! Forget the TV, I must have the internet - waiting till July simply wont do! SO I sorta-calmly asked Comcast to "try again". Their response:

"Ms Myer I am trying to make this as smooth as possible for you. The available slots to establish your new service are 6/27 between 11 and 2 or 7/10 between 2 and 5. You need to be accomodating"

ME? I need to be accomodating? From what customer service sewer are they operating from? Now this poor rep is reading a script and working with some ancient call center application and really has no ability to help me above and beyond what the system allows her to do. I mention this and then ask her to put me in touch with her supervisor before I cancel my entire service with them. Now, this either gets you a supervisor (except in Georgia Power's case - they simply dont give a shit cause they have no competition) or gets you into the "save gate". The save gate exhists in ALL call centers. These gates are full of the best sales reps hand picked by senior managers to SAVE and RETAIN customers. These folks have the ability to credit your account, call you back, etc. If you aren't getting service, seriously threaten to cancel and you will end up talking to a bubbly Jody from Iowa who gets PAID a commission to KEEP you happy.

Comcast is now going to call me back tomorrow to confirm my connection appointment for next week. July?? c'mon!

Thirty Wonderful

2007-06-12T23:30:00.000-04:00

My birthday came along recently. Nothing too crazy, just a Pimps N Ho's party. Well the party was for my best friend who turned 30 the day before me. Looking back, I am amazed at how easy it was for me to parade around in zebra-print-garter-dress-ensemble. More shocking than that was how my other friends embraced the "Ho" appearance. They donned fishnets, pig tails, whips, gold lame, pleather. Oh baby! Divorce seems to be the best thing that ever happened to one of them! I am enjoying watching her discover herself and coaching her through dating. She maintains an acute adorableness about her as she tromps off with some pimp she just met. Good for her!

Earlier that day I was over at "the f-ing house" paying the painter as he had completed the interior work I had hired him to do. He says:

"Ah, miss Diane? I ask question? u no get mad?"

uh oh, I think to myself but ask him to go ahead.

"are you lesbian?"

Now. He was an hour early. We agreed on 10am, he called at 9:05 to ask where I was. So, I rolled out of bed and hopped in the car. I dont get dressed up to pay contractors. Sorry.
He continues:

"you tall, beautiful woman with job. where is your husband? your man?"

my response: "he's sleeping." Oh dont even get me started. I KNOW I dont need to write how insulting it is that a man thinks I am a lesbian simply because there is no man PRESENT at the very moment. I realize he was complementing me in some way, but c'mon!

Mother of the Year Job Description

2007-05-11T13:24:00.000-04:00

This is a fantastic job description for Moms. I think it really speaks to the struggles all moms face with trying to have some semblance of an identity outside of their kids. Being a mom is wonderful and challenging, making you doubt yourself, your sanity and your meaning in life. This weekend should be a time to stop worrying if you are a good mom, if you're skinny enough, if your kids like you, if your kids are developing correctly. Just enjoy the fact that this little person adores you and wants to see you smile cause he painted a picture of you "all by himself".

POSITION : Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tonguere peatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. Aballoon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption thatcollege will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job suppliesl imitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Spiders in the Ears

2007-05-07T09:26:00.000-04:00

There are somethings in motherhood you can never be prepared for. Like this story for example: Pain was two spiders living in boys ear . Yes, it does in fact read "pain was two spiders living in boys ear". I just cant fathom having to calmly take my son to the doctor and discover that he has SPIDERS LIVING IN HIS EAR and then feel like I was doing a great job as a mom. Now hear me out for second here. All mother's feel responsible if their child is hurt. No matter what, even if my son is far away with his dad and something happens to him I will always think "I should have been there to help him, If I had switched weekends he'd be ok" etc. etc. So to have a doctor flush out to spiders out of my sons ear would send me into the bowell's of depression over my pure utter neglect as a mom. I know it.

Women who do not have children do not fully understand how important Mother's Day is. I love the little footprints of my sons feet his daycare teachers make that they turn into cards for me each mother's day year. My son is almost 4. I am moving back into the house I lived in when he was born so I can hopefully sell it and be out of the landlord business. This house is soooo full of memories for me and I am still trying to get my bearings on being there. Some rooms remind me of the awful fights and craziness I endured while married, other rooms remind me of my son as a baby and the bathroom reminds me of puking for 6 months while pregnant. I plan to paint the rooms different colors, hang different shaded on the windows and install lighting - all in the hopes that it will change my thinking on the house and lessen these burdensome memories. Maybe the real estate fairy will come along and send someone to buy my house before I have to move into it.

I am selling this house because I need to pay off debt. Debt I have amassed trying to KEEP my two houses. The biggest mistake I made, other than marry my x, was to keep the houses when we got divorced and buy him out of the equity. He made out like a bandit - a BIG giant check was written to him over two years ago. Since then I have slowly realized that these houses were sucking the life out of me. In two years I have had 3 tenants in one, ALL of them turned out to be assholes. These houses are like Spider's in my ear actually. I just cant rinse them out and rid myself of the annoying "snap, crackle, pop" sound infamously described by the kid in the article. My optimism shows up from time to time bringing me visions of a debt free life, without these houses keeping me tied to my past and setting me free to start over.

pingu gets drunk

2007-04-27T15:42:00.001-04:00

See direction #23

2007-04-13T13:50:00.000-04:00

Click here and go to Google Maps. Type in New York to London.
Read the directions.

Look at #23.....

I wanna know what programmer thought of that? How funny is that? Now they could have suggested to take a boat or a plane even but they opted for the word swim. It's truly fantastic!! Clearly a joke put on by google.

Blondes really do have more fun

2007-04-02T21:32:00.000-04:00

I have amazing friends who I have not seen in a long time. They are inspiring and truly kind, interesting people.
This is one of them. She has baby blonde hair and blue eyes, and big giant balls. ha ha. I love you T! What an amazing life you are leading.

She was an engineer at this car company we both worked at in Boston. She worked on a team of all men, and she gave them hell! She can play football like a man and then cook you the most amazing dinner (still love that sausage dish girly!). I hunted her down on her first day and insisted she be friends with me as I had heard about her through the grapevine. She's tough as hell, but fun and caring. I startled her at the water bubblah with my forwardness, but I was dead on about the friendship. We would laugh and laugh at work, she is just as ruthless as I am with men (dumping men cause they were/are too nice) but more than anything she lives her life. We swam/biked/ran a triathlon together in Oregon a couple of years ago. She insisted she hadnt trained and was going to be slow. We unintentionally wore matching swimsuits. We were the only ones not wearing wetsuits as we dove into the Columbia River. BRRR! Recently she quit her job and has been on a long (going on three months now) discovery trip of Thailand, New Zealand and now Australia.

I found this picture of her on her blog. Interestingly enough her blog is the only way to stay in touch with her. A little web 2.0 backpacking experience. Reminds me of "where in the world is Carmen San Diego".

T, I miss you, and cant wait to see you someday!

And lately, yours truly is dating a tall blonde who matches me stride for stride on enthusiasm and intelligence. A kind soul (dare I mention he's a southern gentleman?) who designs insanely creative websites. We met at work a while ago, and once I officially left we went on a real date. And it was great. Seemless, effortless....a true equal. I remember his first day, we ended up in the elevator together and I was surprised to see he was getting off at the same floor as I. I found my good pal at work and conveyed my happiness that "we" had finally hired and attractive MALE. There are so many hot babes in advertising, it's nice to see a male who isn't some development troll eager to talk about Star Wars. It's quite a change for me, as normally I meet someone I am physically attracted to and it goes from there. Shortly thereafter I discover who they are, their lack of ambition, focus, success - what-have-you and lose interest. With this guy I already knew him very well, I had seen him work, I had seen clients blown away by his ideas and it was hot. Intelligence has a sultry powerful effect on me. But the killer part was discovering his carpentry skills. He described the home theater he built, and I clarified, "you built this yourself? with your own tools?". Yep. Oh jees.

Anyway, we recently went mountain biking. I had never been and selected a nice trail at the Georgia Horse Park. The website read "beautiful mountain bike trails" and that was enough for me to make up my mind. I borrowed a friends shock-less mountain bike and had at it. How do I describe the shock and horror I went through? It was as though I was sitting in the front cart of a rollercoaster and just as you came over the first big climb it detached itself, hurtling me down steep hills and around crazy bends (and trees). Terror. Rocks. Roots sticking out of massively steep hills. Big trees on both sides of the trail, "guiding" you through. I had apparently picked the OLYMPIC MOUNTAIN BIKE COURSE used in the 96 olympics. This is no walk in the park folks. This is some serious shit. I stood in my pedals, knees absorbing the shock and palms fiercly gripping the handlebars. I didnt fall off, wipe out or die - I walked a few sections. But I finished.

we'll see if I do that again.
next up is Sailing!! My favorite!!
Flydi

I am contending for Mother of the Year...

2007-03-28T08:03:00.000-04:00

Recently, I was shopping for shoes with my son. We came around the corner and the carriage knocked some ugly shoes off of the shelf and they made a loud smack as they hit the floor. My son, sitting in the carriage right in front of me declares:

"What the HELL was that?!"

I knew several women (all excellent mothers doing a way better job then anyone on earth including Super Nanny of course) had heard him and glared at me. I just casually informed my son not to say that and that he was ruining my chances of winning "mother of the year".

Everytime I pick him up after he has spent a chunk of time with his father his vocabulary grows. He now points out every single Dogwood Tree, said perfectly, and every single "Mangolia" tree. He knows different birds, knock knock jokes and now uses "Ding dong!" to get my attention if I am tuning him out.

Hanker for a hunka cheese

2007-03-26T11:28:00.001-04:00

Anyone remember this one?! "I slam-a-slice-a-chunk-a..."

Cruise to the Bahamas

2007-03-05T15:25:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple of pictures. The first is my friend Raj and I, we were on the annual company cruise to the Bahamas last weekend. I never thought I'd enjoy going on a cruise, but it's all in who you go with. My sister joined me - she flew in from Chicago and met me in Miami, and all the clowns I work with went too. The second picture - the one with all the men in orange, well that was a dare. They were all from Saab and our president dared me to round em' up and take a picture, and oh take the most introverted guy in the office with you (dude in the striped shirt). Not much of a dare if ya ask me and since I had already had 2 Bahama Mammas, 2 glasses of Champagne and prolly a beer I went for it.

What a really FUN trip!

DJ Format - We know something you don't know

2007-03-04T23:28:00.001-05:00

We had an argument in my office over who was "the bear" and who got to be the "tiger"....I just love it all around. Charlie tuna unibomber....

The Results: D Student gets a B!

2007-02-16T15:46:00.000-05:00

So the response from the voting comittee has been entertaining to say the list. Here is a compilation of them, in no particular order.

"Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are way better at Valentine's Day than my husband and I are!!! I"m going to forward this to him so he can start thinking about next year! hahahah...
I love the "Love Potion". GREAT idea, so sweet... I may steal that idea for an anniversary gift. By the way - WAY TO GO on the handmade card and SCRAPBOOK (!?!!). Nevermind the hand decorated toothbrush holder. This is a very tough call!!!"

"Diane,
You know I love ya girl. But, the boy has you beet for the sheer level of pampering. Damn!!!"

"Ok, now that I’ve stopped puking ; ), I’m going with Chris. Love potion with rain water from your first kiss & a Goddess Crown? That’s good stuff… AND, he remembered to get something for the little guy? Yup, Chris. Nice effort on your part, though. Now I’m going to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get the image of your foot in his mouth out of my head. "

"Ok I think we're all going to have to work to get that foot image off the brain! Well said!!!!!And thank you for the laugh, I so needed that! My vote is Chris as well"

"OK, I’m finally going to vote. Let me preface it by saying that both contestants obviously put a lot of effort into the gifts, and the Academy thanks them for their submissions.

[rips open envelope]

And the winner is ….

Di!

Or at least I’m voting for you, Diane, because it was such a big leap for you to do all the stuff you did. So, like a Most Improved Award for the D student who gets a B on his homework… we should encourage you to keep doing more killer cute stuff. Even if you make us puke. And you do. ;)"

"OK….D you always have my vote…I loved Chris’s list and I am not tossing my groceries, creative and clever, not to mention fun – like to leave a lot to the imaginationJ
But, Estrogen Girls are thicker that water and we have to stick together – besides I lived the Tight(lycra) Red Dress with Big Hair days in the 80’s in Dallas - Let’s hear it for Texas Hair! You have a vote D."

"I'm withholding my vote until I get to see the pictures and video at home. It is neck and neck.
You must be twitterpated if you pulled out the crafting!"

"So glad you had a great valentines day! I’m abstaining from voting—that way there’s a better chance of a tie, and that’s the loving spirit I like to encourage. Everyone wins!"

Valentine's Day Competition Part Deux

2007-02-15T10:31:00.000-05:00

The votes are still coming in, and I will post them as I get them. Currently, in my own opinion, we are neck and neck. In my effort to create a simple, low-key valentines day I discovered I had done quite the opposite. I am very competitive in nature, and up against someone who proclaimed “I was born for this competition” being an Italian Scorpio and all. He was right. Without further ado…I will begin.

Me first of course.
1. Dinner, 4 courses. 1. Melon wrapped in prosciutto, 2. Tri-color Tortellini 3. Home made Chicken Marsala 4. Italian cookies (his favorite)
2. Tight sexy red dress – big hair
3. 15 candles lit all over my living room
4. HAND MADE CARD (exacto knife bayby! Thanks Taran!)
5. Toothbrush for all the time he spends over at my place
6. Toothbrush holder decorated with heart stickers and glitter
7. Hand made scrapbook of our match.com experiences / emails, poem and fill-in-the-blank letter. I also included the emails from TWO YEARS ago when we emailed.
8. Framed picture of us, with alternative pics of me – one in color and one in black and white
9. Enthusiastic 3 year old – loving everything going on, “mom, what’s that? It’s nice. That’s pretty. I like it” in regards to the candles. He also supported my case by blurting out “I love you Chris” several times throughout the evening. I haven’t even said that yet! Lastly, he plopped down next to the chocolate and strawberries dropping one heavily soaked berry on the floor....ahhhh motherhood.

Chris’s game:
1. Hand made “Goddess Crown” – see picture
2. Forget roses, he brought rose petals to poor into a foot soak/bath he brought with him
3. Foot bath w/ mandarin salt scrub
4. Before the foot bath began he provided strawberries on stems with hot fudge dipping sauce, to eat while getting my feet scrubbed
5. THE CARD: A Rocky Balboa-themed Valentine’s Day card – see picture and video
6. Poem
7. Really cool sparkly-glitter light for the little guy (tried to keep him in his room and go to bed with it, had the opposite effect)
8. Love Potion: while soaking my feet in hot water, bath salts & rose petals he made a love potion. One part “rain water from our first kiss” it was raining that night, One white petal for falling in love with me, One red petal for our first valentines day together. All in a little bottle that has a special red satin bag to keep it in. Woah.
9. After foot soak the foot massage starts.
10. Blindfold
11. Bliss – but I am not getting into the details…..but it was ridiculous

First Annual Valentine's Day Competition

2007-02-12T18:26:00.000-05:00

So. My hot italian scorpio has turned into my boyfriend. Not sure how this all happened, aside from falling under his seductive spell, I can only imagine that "someone" (fairy godmother?) arranged this. In a quite unusual fashion I absorb all of the attention he gives rather than eschewing it and walking down the street with my hands stuffed firmly in my pockets. I let him hold my hand with both of his own hands all pressed up against his chest as we walk IN PUBLIC. woah! Actually, he just grabbed my hand - I didnt have much say in the matter unless I wanted to yank it away and cause a scene, which I have done so it's all possible. I have never been good with PDA and have often viewed affectionate men as weak. Let's just say I have learned in my more mature days...and now I love it. I giggle and look forward to it.

So far he has surprised me with flowers part of a scavenger hunt around my apartment with numerous cards, gelato (of course!) for dessert, etc. I'm smitten and happy and actually spending time with a man who is not emotionally retarded.

For Wednesday I have turned Valentine's Day into a competition. Doth this surprise thee? Our friends will vote on who came up with the best overall effort as I will document it with pictures and such. No kidding, if it's a competition I am there. Big time. Bring it! So I plan to *try* to beat him but I am going up against a former massage therapist who was born to win these types of challenges. A line from his match profile read "I'm Italian, I'll make you lasagna then makeout with you on the countertop" - hence why I went out with him. Can you blame me? What's really ironic is he and I emailed each other 2 years ago via match. We went back and forth and he sent me a stupid joke to which I never responded. That was it. I figured it all out based on one picture he had on his profile - I remembered it and then asked him about it. Turns out I was right. Something about that I find amusing.

I told him what I went through recently, and he lovingly hugged me. I told him the whole story. That alone was scary but that kind of openness and honestly has only been paying me back in spades.

Stay tuned for the photo montage of the competition.....

Match.com Part Deux

2007-01-24T11:19:00.000-05:00

Here is a medley of emails I have received, identities of course protected, for you all to read and enjoy. I am amused by some - horrified by others. Overall I enjoy these emails and I thought it might help some of the guys out there to see what kind of emails get a response and which ones dont.

so here goes!

From a friend who wrongfully assumed my meeting a firefighter in a bar meant that I slept with him:

"should have you charged !...with contributing to the delinquency and emotional immaturity (and ths perpetuating the whole gawd damn hero mentality)of an intellectal and maturity minor !!!!!!!! :(a FIREMAN!!! how could you Di ? :(no mater the fact that WE know you've used HIM, he willthink...and in short time gladly pass on to his testosterone-fueled bretheren, that he 'scored' with you:(Oh, the horror !you've CRUSHED me :(:(:(........................ (tears)couldn' t you have perhaps, found an eager Paramedic or computer geek that would so much more have appreciated a few divine moments with a goddess?\i'm a broken man...... oh, and it's not 'over' as ofyet....just finished having to 'babysit' her/daughter, after a particualry awful (and icky) bought of the stomach flu...oh, how i LOVE the power ofGUILT my deear Diane !!!!!!in case i miss you..have a FANTASTIC NEW YEARS EVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...and no more hoseheads!

Dont know this guy at all:
"Hello There!!!are you from the UK?

In response to my comment about loving a man with tools:
"something witty...Back roads... yes I agree. I have a feeling that you've read Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. As far as tools go... I can fix anything... wha'cha got, let me at it... lol...Just wanted to say hello... happy New Year"

"hey, will you email me?? I am interested in you! Your profile is so cool. Actually my brother is living in Boston for now. I am conservative politically, but your liberal views don't scare me away, actually it may be a breath of fresh air. My picture is going to be on anytime so i promise I am normal and not some wierd guy who does not want to post a pic or anything. I hope you write back, and I am a builder, not a carpenter; however, I do have some tools!! ha ha"

General Emails received:
"Where do I sign? Hmmm...so much to say...must impress you....what exactly is a wicked pisser? Ok, you are stunning--just had to get that out first. I really like you from the little you have shared (with the world).How about this...I am tongue tied because I am enjoying reading about you so much, laughing that you'd go to dinner without makeup (you don't need any!).How old is your son? It's funny that I find myself increasingly attracted to single mothers. I've known for a long time that making babies of my own is not a priority (6.5 billion little miracles are enough), but I irresistably love children and nurturing and so maybe it will work out that I get together with a goddess that has already brought forth a couple precious new souls, and then I give all the help I can.Lets go exploring sometime. Have you ever been to the quarry in Bankhead? There are eagles...or at least hawks. Sweetwater Creek is brilliant as well.Forgive my rushing ahead: I love you. Happy New Year! I wish you the best of life, love and luck for 2007.Oh, here's a humor compatibility test: How many gerbils does it take to screw in a light bulb?Peace,"

"I'm willing.....
to get that leg lengthening operation (or stuff card board in my shoes) to make height......or maybe I just need more cow bell."

"Hi Celtic Girl........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi.....I'm politically conservative and socially liberal, but, we would do OK, because, I really do appreciate everyone's opinion...Is'nt that what makes the USA GREAT !....,I'm not afraid to go out without makeup either !.....I like traveling, but dont enjoy doing it for business anymore (Security lines are too long)and outside, not in the ATL in the summer.......And, your dog would love me,they always do.....Do'nt ever trust anybody that your dog does'nt (seriously)...I'm going bck to bed, it's only like 6:40AM....Bye..."

"hello angel
Hello dear, How are you ? i will say you are really pretty, you are like an angel. I am really amazed. I am Godfrey, am 42yrs old,i work with an advertising company.I am currently a single. i would really love to say much about me,but when i am being asked. Dear, i want to know you much more better, maybe to get to reach GOD more easily. knowing an angel is like knowing the personal asistant of GOD. Please endeavour to send me a reply,you can add me to your yahoo IM my id is (xxxgodfrey4love) while my email address is xxxgodfrey4love@yahoo.com. i will love to chat with you on yahoo chat so we can get to know more about our self, I will be greatly honoured by it. I wait with curiousity to hear from you. Till then. Have a loving day. and may your best of yesterday,be your worst today.i strongly belive that Love is the shortest distance between hearts,when the heartbeat for each other.when we open our heart to one another.we can feel the emotions.and Distance does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another.i know that Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.stay cool.Godfrey

I am not a player....sort of

2007-01-15T10:13:00.000-05:00

Not a Player, But You Dabble In the Game.

Sometimes a girl just wants to have fun- and when it's fun you're after, you get it.
But when you want a relationship, you seem to score that as well.
What you want changes from day to day? and from guy to guy.
Luckily, you've got the skills to get whatever you want - and pass the leftovers on to your friends.

Are You a Player?

Thirsty Scholar Pub

2007-01-12T11:10:00.000-05:00

I used to live above this pub in Somerville Massachusetts. It was like a sitcom, seriously. My best friends lived in the apartment above me, and I lived with a hilarious Cuban copywriter and we all pretty much spent most of our evenings in this pub. Very London-esque of me. Parties such as "Easter Eggs & Margaritas" were hosted upstairs and the group of tramps formerly known as the All Girls Kazoo Band would reconvene the next morning for brunch at this pub. This was to make sure we were all alive and to get the dirt on the poor young man someone had "deflowered".

I lived there during the 2002 world cup - and let me tell ya, that was the place to be! at 7Am I could hear folks cheering and screaming through my floor. Excellent. Now that is the apartment to have! Often times we would wander down the street and buy a large cheese pizza for $5 bucks at Dial-a-Pizza, eat half of it and then sell the other pieces to drunks stumbling out of the bar for $2 bucks. In the end, we'd get paid to eat our own pizza if you do the math.

I love that place. Go eat there if you are in Somerville, it's fantastic.

The Man/Men Update

2007-01-09T16:45:00.000-05:00

Hey now! I have two irons in the fire (interesting visual comes to mind as I type this) currently. If I had to write down everything I am looking for in man, this guy would be it - but he's older, like 14 years older. But I am being open-minded and trying not to rule out men for no real reason. We had a very nice date last week, where I even asked for advice on dealing with my sons tempertantrums. He flat out wouldnt offer any advice unless I directly asked him for it - KUDOS for that one. And continued to point out how I was rewarding him for acting poorly. My attempt to give him a train, cookie, kiss, movie was encouraging his behavior. He's not dumb. I dont get to charm him as he sees right through it - and even explained how much he enjoyed talking with me once I was no longer "on". The odd part is his complete unwillingness to share his "rock star" side, as I call it. Now he plays the guitar and sings, he even had gigs all over the city. But mum is the word. He explained that he is tired of women falling for that side of him and not getting to know him, as a person. Understandable - yet odd. Dont most men strive to find that one thing that lures the ladies in? Wouldnt most men dream of being able to shred a guitar and make women's nipples hard over it? I offered up the following analogy: "So that's the equivilant of me wearing sweatpants and no makeup to our first date cause I dont want you to just like me for my pretty face". He laughed. I still dont know much about the music thing. In the middle of our date, all 6'4 of him said "Oh I could so pick you up"...as I described being an amazon and feeling like I could carry most of the men I date out of the burning building. If that man does in fact pick me up, I will get a picture and post it - I havent been picked up in 20 years. Ever since I hit 5'9 that "dream" ended.

NExt up is my Italian Scorpio. Damn this man is hot. A former massage therapist (oh now that doesnt suck) with beautiful hands, from the Bronx. Booyah! He swears and says "fahgetaboutit" and doesnt realize the humor in doing so. We had a nice long date on Sunday, full of dating stories and erotic glances over candlelight. He's very spiritual and into art, classical music, astrology, energy, etc. BUT he could kick my ass and everyone elses ass due to the simple fact he's a highly trained MMA fighter. That means "Mixed Martial Arts" which also means "I have rock hard abs and can tie you in a pretzel while slapping you across the face" or "I can pin you down and do naughty things to you..." for those of us who think that way. ;)

Here's the "ball of hair" (go see Fever Pitch if you dont get that reference)...he could be my x's twin. Seriously, there is such a striking physical resemblance between the two it's uncanny. I am tempted to post pictures of them, but I think that's illegal.

So - I am seeing both this week. Not bad for dusting myself off and moving on I say.

Happy New Year: 2007's Gonna be a bitch!

2007-01-04T08:06:00.000-05:00

That's right, I said that. Women are taking over and life will surely get better for us mere mortals in 07 as in the news today I discovered we will have our fist FEMALE house of representatives. Bring on the stem cell research! Enough of this useless war, time for ALL of us to get our heads on straight and move on from the political-egg-on-our-face syndrome of the past 6 years.

I am so excited about today's news.....click here to read it.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070104/ap_on_go_co/congress_rdp

Here's my one New Years pic - taken at 11:56 on new years eve. Aside from looking like I am falling over - I think I look happy. That's good enough for me! Happy New Year! Aside from typical new year's resolutions I plan to make this one count. I typically accomplish my new years goals and havent truly decided on my goal for 07. It's some semblance of save money, date nice men, kick ass at work, take my son to see interesting things - but I want more than that. I want this year to be the year I really wow myself. So, with that said I should get crackin' on my Survivor application!

December Horoscope

2006-12-31T08:58:00.000-05:00

I came across this today, it's my horoscope for December;

"The theme for you and your romantic partner this month is truth – and the truth may not be so easy to bear. The more honesty that comes out between you and the one you love, the more you will realize that a shift needs to happen. Admit to yourself and the one you love that you have hit a turning point. Your current partnership may not be working out the way you had hoped. During the latter part of the month, set new rules for yourself and your beloved. A period of separation may be in order. Don't be afraid to set yourself free and start fresh."

Tonight, is apparently going to be exciting! I cant wait to find out what it could be!

I'm Back Baby!

2006-12-30T09:51:00.000-05:00

Awww shit she's back and this blog will return to lengthy descriptions of hot men and the dumb shit they say. I promise to include details, pictures, the good and the bad. Starting this weekend. Stay tuned.

I have some crazy broads for friends and I am so lucky to have them! They have been there while I blubbered away for the past couple weeks, and I cant thank them enough.

Jared Leto got a big ol' pair of pipes

2006-12-26T20:54:00.000-05:00

DAMN! Thanks to my beloved XM radio I discovered "30 Seconds to Mars" today. All I could think during the song "From Yesterday" was:

1. Damn this dude can sing!
2. How the fuck will he sing/scream these songs over and over if they go on tour?

So I googled away and parused their website - not noticing the name "Jared Leto" as the lead singer. Then it clicked for me. THE Jared Leto is the dude wailing on the vocals?? No freaken way! I suddenly had so much more interest in him. I give their album 2 thumbs WAY up. Check em' out....

And here's something to calm the fury...

2006-12-19T15:36:00.000-05:00

Ringtones and the healing process

2006-12-18T13:43:00.000-05:00

One of the first things one should do when going through a breakup is remove the stupidly-sweet ringtone you assigned to "schmoupy". I just did this. I removed "burning love" by Elvis and replaced it with "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar. Does wonders for me!! So theraputic!

And, on a very crazy note I have someone's wife emailing me. Dont even know her, or HIM. She has hacked into her husbands myspace account (god only knows why) and is so insane that she not only read my blog, she wrote me a three page email about how good and horrible her marriage is. I removed names but highlighted some of the horrendus parts for you all to read, as the women is very confused. This man doesnt know that she is doing this (or maybe he does?) - because I forwarded her crazy email to him and he obviously didnt see it cause pyscho woman deleted it before he could read it. I DESPISE this kind of web-based bullshit. Listen up you fucking self-absorbed people, leave me out of your craziness, I have my own issues to deal with! I have zero interest in your husband and zero interest in reading about another pathetic female clinging to a man for dear life. Liposuction?? come on! See below for the transcript, sorry it's a long one:

"Hi :
I know that this is going to be a really weird e-mail but I wanted to reach out to you because you have been communicating with my husband about joint custody. I know it is very wrong of me to pry into my husband's e-mail and I usually don't operate on that principle but I have been extremely insecure about myspace and his virtual life. I guess I want you to know the other side of our story before you give him more advice. T and I have been married six years and like all marriages we have had good times and bad. I love my husband deeply and feel very blessed that he married me. T is a wonderful man - he reaches out to people in need, is very intelligent, a great athlete and a wonderful father. He just happened to marry someone who is very needy and that is tough for him and for me. Outside of our marriage I am a confident, successful, very well-liked individual but within my marriage I seem to become a needy little girl who needs her husband to proud of her and gives her affirmation that she is doing everything right. Kind of pitiful, I know. My marriage is sacred to me and the most important commitment I have made to T, myself and God. I don't want to get a divorce as we really have no basis for one except that we have both been self absorbed and did not cherish our marriage the way that we should. I know I am not the perfect wife, I am not that smart or pretty, I have to work hard at keeping my weight off of me, I am not the CEO of a company or really anything remarkable, but I am a really nice, loyal person who tries to live life without hurting others. I am also very thoughtful to T, he does not have to do a thing around the house I work full-time and do all the housework, outside work, cooking, laundry, errands, shopping and the majority of childcare like feeding, bathing, dressing, brushing hair,etc.. I am not complaining I am happy to make a nice home for my family and allow my husband the time he needs to train for triathlons. T sleeps until at least 9:00 every morning and then never has to deal with the morning stress of trying to get our daughter off to school. I register him for all of his races and then make all the arrangements for us to go as a family so that we can be there to support him and cheer him on. I order his wetsuits and help him with his gear. On top of it all I take care of making sure all the household bills are paid. T has it really easy - he works and trains. Our friends are always saying how lucky he is to have a wife who does so much for him and is always there to support him in whatever he does. I think that T is seeking for perfection and that world just doesn't exsist. I believe God put us in a marriage to grow from each others imperfections and that together we grow into the perfection that God intends us to become through love. T wants me to have a perfect figure, which I don't - I am 5'3 and wear a size 8 which is pretty fat I know. (but I am getting liposuction to look better for him) He wants me to be a triathlete which frankly, I don't have the time or the skill to do that - between working and taking care of T and our daughter I only have time to get to the gym about an hour a day. I want to be perfect for my husband but gosh I just don't seem to be able to be all things. Anyway we got to this bad place in our marriage because I wanted T to appreciate me and thank me for the things I do for him and the more I asked him to do that the angrier he became. (it's that needy thing) and we have been seeing a counselor who has been working with us on trying to make our marriage better. The comment that T said the counselor made about us not staying married was taken out of context. The counselor does want us to stay married but she also wants us to work on communicating better and being kind and loving to each other. So that is the other side of the marriage - I know you told T he should get out but there is always more to a story than the one side as I am sure you know from your own marriage. Again, I love and cherish my husband and I am working hard on trying to be the wife he wants and deserves. So if you are going to give him advice, please keep in mind that it will have an effect on me and our daughter as well. If you feel you that you need to share this with T then I should let you know that he will be very angry with me but it won't be the first time. I just wanted to you to know because he has reached out to you for advice and I think you should have as much information as you can before you dispense advice. (at least that is what I try to do for people who seek it from me) On a final note - I love Atlanta, my brother and sister both live there and they are just wonderful people. My sister pratices medicine and my brother is a software engineer. They both live in Atlanta itself - near Highlands. My mama is probably going to move there as well once she retires in a year. Great city!!! Thanks for reading this and I do hope that you don't share it with T because of the rift it will cause but if you do then I understand as this was a risk I took in reaching out to you as a woman who is trying to hold on to her family. Take care D
PS - I am writing from my girlfriend's site as I don't have one of my own."

"Goodbye to You"

2006-12-16T20:45:00.000-05:00

Patty Smyth of Scandal recorded the best damn breakup song ever, titled "Goodbye to You". I have been listening to it for years and have recently resurected it's fantastic-ness (for obvious reasons). Mr. Asswipe has now confirmed what I suspected, he intended to end things after Christmas, that he doesnt love me in the same way he used to ..."those feelings are just gone" and that he has felt this way since end of October or so. He can offer no explanation and adamantly denies meeting someone else....I am not convinced. But he really wants me in his life, to be friends cause he loves me so much and I am fun. I believe his exact words were "you're my best friend".... How selfish can one be??

There is so much more to this than I can share to the world wide web, but my life is a disaster right now. Sorry readers - without going into detail - imagine the worst breakup ever, and multiply it. My loss is so massive I cant even get my brain around it. It's as though I am an actor in a movie, one you just route for over and over who keeps getting some shit deal. I seriously may write a book. This is just beyond comprehension to me. My heart has never been broken like this, and I am truly sad. I fumbled through Christmas shopping tonight, trying to keep moving and passing time pausing at self-help books and Elvis box sets. My son asked about him many times this weekend and the fury that burns inside of me over that is like nothing I have ever experienced. I could end up on Jerry Springer if I let it consume me.

Now, I have fantastic friends who keep calling me, coming over, offering food, etc. This makes me feel so loved and reminds me that a boyfriend should make you feel the same way. My son strokes my cheek and calls me sweetheart while singing some rendition of Jingle Bells and Fly Me to the Moon. I am so lucky.

All I want for Christmas is a broken heart???

2006-12-14T17:29:00.000-05:00

What kind of crap is that? I dont recall putting that on my list. At times I feel as though I might keel over and die from the heartached I am currently going through. It occurred to me earlier this week that my elvis-loving-suddenly-reclusive boyfriend was "holding on" through the holidays. So I ended it, OVER THE PHONE. Awful, I know but when the words poured out of my mouth, my alter-protective-ego took over. I shocked myself. I just simply couldn't wait for Mr. Wonderful to figure out if I was "the one" anymore. Who does that? Ok, I'll just sit over here unloved while you figure out if you are gonna dump me. No thanks. Oddly enough, I hadnt even put any pressure on him about it - apparently he has a sense of urgency about determining his future. My status of single mom with joint custody became a tough pill for him to swallow - further breaking my heart - as my ability to uproot and move anywhere is somewhat limited. However, all of these things are not deal breakers when you are in love with someone. So I digested this over the weekend and realized that I was now staring in this very scene from Jerry McGuire:

"I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a

lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built."

If only my script ended as Dorothy's did in Jerry McGuire. Something is missing for him. But I feel like I have lost so much more.......

Considering the holidays are coming up I would say I am doing better than I would have expected. I attended my Christmas Party alone, where they promptly displayed GIGANTIC photos of him and I from Halloween prompting folks to ask where he was. These photos rotated above my head on a white tarp all fucking night. Wonderful. His name was printed on a name tag when you walked in, I snatched it up, crinkled it in my hand and threw it out - all in 2 seconds. I have to hand over my phone to a friend so I wont call him. I have to remember that HE needs to pull the Say Anything move out of his ass, not me.

I cant believe we were 3 weeks shy of a year together. I cant believe I am writing this blog post.

Go Rachel Sarah!

2006-11-09T12:54:00.000-05:00

My e-friend Sarah has published her book, Sinlge Mom Seeking and is on tour promoting it. I wrote about her way back when, "There are more of us out there...." when I discovered her awesome story about being a bad girl. Please go check out her site and book, she's worked very hard at it and been honest enough to write about it. It's not easy to do what she has done, she is a single parent with no part time dad to help her out (like I have).

I am so proud of you Sarah!! And this is just fantastic.

Flydi

Go Democrats!!

2006-11-09T11:52:00.000-05:00

Oh thank god something is finally changing in politics to regain my interest and enthusiasm!

"In Iraq and here at home, Americans have made clear they are tired of the failures of the last six years," said Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada, in line to become Senate Majority leader when Congress reconvenes in January.

The democrats are taking over. What the hell does that mean?? I prefer to think we already had, and that we just let them win the last time. Either way - I am eagerly anticipating some changes that will make me sleep better at night. Enough with the attempts at overturning Roe-vs-Wade. Are we seriously reverting back to our Neanderthalal mindset of the 40's?

I am shocked, still at the conservative mindset some of my awesome friends have. They ferociously debate me on my liberalism, and I truly don't know why. I am curious as to why some republican friends of mine heave and sigh, rolling their eyes when I talk about things I believe in and more importantly what a buffoon our current president IS. Reminding them of the great leaders of our country who came before him, Theodore Roosevelt, who were (are?) dignified and regularly quoted only seems to infuriate them and beg for more eye rolling. Why do you choose to look the other way and ignore the rather blatant embarrassment our current president regularly submits us to? "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me again, well that aint gonna happen again" or some blubbering bullshit like that. Are you serious??? This is the leader of our country? The most powerful country in the world (although North Korea has nuclear weapons now) has a leader who cant speak effectively in public? Isn't public speaking the majority of a politicians career? If I couldn't give a good presentation in my own piddly sales job I'd be fired. Sorry if my expectations for my country, the most powerful country in the world (we have nuclear weapons too, and we've tested them) are higher than the expectations of my very own boss.

So I guess I am left here wondering why the republicans, conservatives, or what-have-you hate "liberals" so much? I simply want to have the same rights most white men have. Equal opportunities, equal pay, equal healthcare, etc. etc. We cover viagra but dont cover birth control? That makes zero sense. Healthplans cover viagra, so more men can get 6-hour long hard-ons but these same healthplans dont cover the effects of a 6 hour bonor have on women? Go figure. Jees at least give us more mental health benefits so we can talk to a shrink about these freaky 60+ year old men hitting on us and tempting us with "the time of our lives".

My political views are strong, but they are realistic and grounded on my own personal experiences working in corporate America once as a young girl (everyone, it is a good day, especially when Diane walks through our bank lobby when the sun is shining. you can see right through her dress) and now as an older, single mom. Please don't drive down into liberal-midtown Atlanta in your SUV after shopping at Costco and tell me how to be a good Christian, I am sick of it! You do your thing and I'll do mine - neither one of us is probably hurting anyone.

Lastly, I just had to mention how sad I am that Ann Richards is no longer with us. She makes me want to try harder and not censor myself so much. "Women who aspire to be equal with men, lack ambition...."

Flydi

My take on MBA's...

2006-10-16T14:24:00.000-04:00

Ok this may offend those who think very highly of their education, and I am sorry. I am sorry if my blunt comments offend you but reality is rather different than most MBA's see it. The collegiate brainwashing that occurs as you begin to apply to B-school is just the tip of the iceberg. Then you are accepted, further elevating your screwed up perception of yourself, then you attend and think you now know more than all us schmucks schleping to work every day while you review another case study with your professor. Case study's are great - you know in advance how the problem worked out so you can envision all kinds of great ideas that also contribute to the same end result. It's a lot harder to come across a real problem and based on your "gut instinct" you determine something needs to change, so you bravely work it out to the point it makes the company so much money you achieve CEO because of your smahts. This is rare. The worst are the MBA's who graduate having never had to work anywhere, never wanted something so badly they could taste it, passionless empty degrees earned with the hopes that they could insert themselves into senior management without ever having to earn it. Big salary to compensate the *investment* they made in their education.

How is it an MBA is more valuable than real work experience?

I have worked with, interviewed and dated many people who have MBA's. All knowledge and hearsay - no action or individual accomplishments. On dates, it's just not romantic to tell me how amazing you are for attending business school. You either ARE amazing or you aren't. If you need to tell me you are then that's ten demerits right there.

Now, there are many folks who have MBA's and don't tell anyone. This is interesting to me. A humble approach perhaps? Or an attempt at ensuring a higher salary "just in case" it comes down to you and some other candidate.

What I am getting at is the complete misconception of MBA's from both the student and the employer. Students think they are more qualified for achieving these degrees. Employers often agree. Yet what is the end output? Does that MBA person in fact hit the ground running faster? Do they make the company wealthier? Do they contribute more intellectual capital? Do they have the ability to execute their own ideas without the help of others?

This article, titled "The path to the corner office" has me all fired up. It addresses everything I have mentioned before. I think it's high time students stop falling for the perception that an MBA will get them where they want to go. Think about it. You pay $40K per year, yes you should in fact have expectations for doing so. I would hold the schools accountable. Did the school in fact provide you with the equivalent of the $100K investment you made? Has your experience and accomplishments for the two+ years you spent attending school placed you higher than if you had worked in a roll learning hands-on at a company, putting in your time? If you bought a house for $100K you expect to earn equity on your investment, that's a given. So it makes sense that these MBA students expect to earn more based on the size of their investment.

Yes, it's obvious I am jealous of the MBA grads. Most are placed on a pedestal without ever knowing how humiliating it is to be called "the temp". I have been overlooked for positions I had the experience for only to find out someone with an MBA was offered the job. It's a slap in the face only when that person is a MORAN and cant deliver on any of the ideas they come up with. Most likely they didn't starve while earning less than $30K per year and paying their own bills. Trust me folks, many companies hold a lot of weight on promoting those who have worked in their factories and shittiest jobs. Those types of people really understand their business. If those folks then go on to complete advanced degrees they eliminate the competition by combining hands-on industry experience with advanced degrees. Which brings me to my point. Employers should expect more out of those with MBA's and no experience. Employers should heavily reward those with lots of experience who obtain their MBA. Employers should hold b-schools accountable.

Anyone catch the Amazing Race? Now there's some hands-on experience you can really use. Not to mention the life changing confidence those racers are gaining.

Flydi

Now that I have clawed my way to my perch here in middle-management with years of experience, I can say with 100% confidence that I would have very high expectations of my professors at B-school if I attended.

this quote comes to mind:

"Never hesitate! Amateurs built the Mayflower and professionals
built the Titanic."

just saying hi...

2006-10-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

It's been a crazy month here in my little world. I have a great new job with people I respect, admire and care about. Bunch of real smahties I tell ya. They built this agency out of their basement and have done so well simply because they are great guys to work with. I cant believe how humble they are. I get to do sales for these guys, which is easy considering their client base. My phone rings with people wanting to work with us, instead of me having to beg those to work with us. Quite a different experience!

The little man has been having full blown conversations with me. He's easily entertained by those Richard Scary books with a million things going on on the page. Ya know, the ones where you look for the little mouse who might be driving one of the cars in the city-scene. I grew up with these books and loved them too. Lately he enjoys reading more and more. Just the other night I was reading before bed when I heard his door open. I waited, knowing he was going to appear in my room momentarily. He peeked around the corner, clearly unsure if he was in trouble or what. I smiled at him and asked him to come read with me. He imitated my every move. Feet crossed, head propped up with pillows and book balanced on his stomach to "read" to me. He made up stories about his father, me and his grandpa. After about 10 minutes I told him he needed to go sleep in his own bed, so he did. He simply hopped down, said "g'night mom." and went back to bed. Unreal.

He also loves KT Tunstall's song "Dark horse and cherry tree" however he calls it the "woo hoo" song. He came running into my room the other morning all excited when he heard it. "Mom! it's woo hoo!" Clearly his grandpa had played a roll in this!

My advice to my friends out there, dont wait to have kids. Most of you are really succesful and with the right person. Go for it, it's the best thing ever. Keep in mind who this is coming from will ya?

flydi

Some Online Fun for you slackers...

2006-10-09T15:06:00.000-04:00

Now that I am in interactive advertising I thought I would share some of the funniest shit on the internet. enjoy!

www.shaveeverywhere.com ---so naughty!!

www.brawnyacademy.com ---I watched all 8 episodes and love the scene with the guy vacuming up chalk lines on a football field while wearing ruby slippers and carrying a doll. Doth my ears detect a Boston accent? "C'mon Ruby Slippahs! Go Ruby Slippahs!".

www.comeclean.com - cute, simple and clever

www.cowabduction.com - who knew those guys over at the "Milk Processors of America" where so dang cray-zahy?

I got a new job and I am busy as hell!

2006-10-09T14:57:00.000-04:00

Sorry- I'll be back soon.....for now have fun with this web tool.

Men Treats

2006-09-12T16:00:00.000-04:00

I've just discovered the famous article "what Shamu taught me about a happy marriage" and find it hilarious and frustrating. It's pathetic that we women are so smart we can actually pull this off without being caught, and even more irritating that we have to “train” men to get what we deserve. I can recall in many relationships leaving little crumbs of info that clearly led to the end result I wanted, only to have my man *think* he was the one who came up with it. My therapist called it "managing people". Why cant men (now I am sure there are men who can figure out that they are being managed) see the maze they are running in or recognize the prehistoric way we women have resorted to dealing with them? Are men so completely unevolved that they learn solely on recognition and reward?

It bugs me when I have to point out the obvious. "The obvious" being what is so crystal clear to me you'd have to be an ape not to get it. So why cant I just accept this clarity on the male pysche that yes, men do in fact operate on a much more simple level than women. A level devoid of endless obsessing, worrying and tattering on about what this person thinks, how we look, how we feel, blah blah blah.

I recently had to force out the words "I want you know your feelings" in a conversation with my boyfriend and was irritated that thanks to society and stereotypes my main concern was being reduced down to "typical woman" status. I cringed as the word "feelings" came out of my mouth, landing on the bed and bouncing off as I quickly recovered and made sure he knew how stoopid they sounded to me. He smiled at my own acknowledgement, which was all I needed. Yes I feel this way, yes it is stoopid, but please just hear me.

But, truthfully it appears there is no other way than this one:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?ex=1158206400&en=cb2f697a3e2094df&ei=5070

This makes me want to put a can of treats on the counter that reads “Michael” on it next to the one that says “Madonna”, my dog, on it. Ha ha. (neither can actually exist…poor Madonna)

Play-dough

2006-08-16T13:11:00.000-04:00

It's Wednesday, again. My son has blossomed before my very eyes. He is using the potty extensively, and enthusiasticly asking for my approval each time he does. Like an old man he sits on his potty, Madagascar underwear around his ankles, reading "Everybody Poops" out loud to me. "moooom. Elephant poops. da bird poops. Nemo poops." It's adorable.

I just now went home to straighten up my place during my lunch break, and again the "joint custody black cloud" started raining on me. I opened the door to my place and noticed the third tub of play-dough my son was franticly begging me to find before he left for school tucked next to the entertainment center. "Find it mommie! pwease!" I impatiently rushed him out the door and told him I would find it later. He cried for a minute about it and got over it. After noticing the play-dough my glanced over to my sofa, where a bundle of grapes sat on the cushion. Grapes just sitting on the couch, not in the fridge where I put them last. Apparently as I got dressed the little guy helped himself to some more grapes. By my foot lay a headless, plastic T-rex, and I quietly began to cry as I picked up the grapes. I could easily let the wave wash over me and have a complete sob fest - reeling in the pain of this weekly seperation. I sat on my sofa - paralized, daydreaming about kissing him good bye at school this morning. He turned to me in the classroom as I put his things in his cubby and said "Mommie? you come back?". "no, I will see you on Monday - today you get to see your daddy!" I said with a fake enthusiasm I am sure he can pick up on. He grabbed my hand and said "ok, I go bye bye". He clearly understands that he wont see me for some period of time now. I bear hugged him and told him I loved him and this time I got an "I love you too..." back.

I write about this cause I might die if I keep this all inside. I have friends who's 3 year old children cant comprehend the sentence "Mommie? you come back?" as they are NEVER apart from them.

oh the envy......

Flydi

2006-08-15T00:12:00.000-04:00

Europe - Rock the Night

I had to share the insanit with you all...enjoy this little trip back to 1989.

I just hit a new low....

2006-08-14T23:41:00.000-04:00

I felt the need to confess the most heinous thing ever to the entire world, immediately, at this very moment - for fear of it taking over my life. I just downloaded Europe's "Rock the Night" and I fear I may go dig out the can of Aqua Net residing under my sink and well, ya know - do my hair. Oh I cant shake it either, I may just show up at work with black eyeliner melted onto my eyes and ...jesus! Must turn Europe off. right now.

I blame Gene Simmons and his new show on A&E for resurecting my hairband lust. It's fantastic! Rock god shows soft cuddly side and I cant get enough of Gene, the man I now call "papa demon". Not to mention the constant witty banter from his "midgets" (he calls his 6'7 kid a midget? brilliant) and lovely wife, who I secretly wish was my friend. She has my sense of humor and shit man, she was a mega playboy centerfold, she could have anyone. Just what I like in woman, relentless sense of humor and a nice rack. Ha ha.

Listen up northerners:

2006-08-10T07:23:00.000-04:00

Here's a little message to my own kind: Lighten up!! I call into companies and interview them everyday, and I cringe when I see a 212 or 617 area code. What kind of crap is that? It's my favorite part of the country and my least favorite part to call?? Now is it so hard to just be polite and have manners? Up in the northeast everyone thinks you are trying to sell them a vacuum cleaner. I remember, I used to be that person. I still am that hard-edged person at times, but living in Atlanta for over 3 years (Woah....THREE years???) has helped me tone down the UNNECESSARY bad-assness. It's funny and somewhat backwards that I used to have my guard up walking around Boston which has 4 times less the average crime rate than Atlanta does. I have modified my lifestyle a bit - I simply don't walk anywhere at night in Atlanta, double lock my doors, don't leave my lap top in my car - just aint the smaht thing to do here.

Now, I will say that when some raggamuffin homeless person comes up to me while I am pumping gas and asks me for $5 bucks I snap back into that tough northeastern gal (see my post about moms being similar to grizzly bears). While my son waits in the car, I try to ignore them but then I turn and tell them to get the fuck away from me. And they do. They know I am not from here. Let me clarify that I do care about the homeless people and feel we are letting a slice of our population slip through the cracks while we eat out every night, sleep in air conditioned houses, etc. I just don't care for being harassed at the gas station with my child watching - so they can go get high.

Anyway, you northern-types (called yankees, which is an insult down here) should lose the razor sharp edge a bit, soften up; the world aint out to get ya, it's just full of idiots.

stay tuned for my next post on why southeners should toughen up......at least to your face instead of behind your back and how to swear like a champ. It's fuckin' liberating, I tell ya guy!

Breathe

2006-08-08T21:49:00.000-04:00

Ever get that feeling....the one where you fill up your lungs, holding the air deep for a second? As you let it go you feel that very moment in life will be a memory you wont soon forget? This happens for me when I see my son after a few days and he says "mommie! I missed you - you came back!" There's no way to explain to him that I didnt want to leave him, and that I am haunted by him when he is not with me. "This is just how it is" seems horribly unfair. I wish I could find the words to capture the way it feels to leave my child every Wednesday morning, knowing I wont see him till Friday or even Monday. I go through the motions, unclipping his seat belt and gathering his bag - which is full of toys and things he wants to bring to his father's house. How does he feel as he waves goodbye to me from the windows of his school, in between shapes of flowers and bugs? My heart in my mouth, fighting tears I go through this weekly occurrence. It simply wont get better.

I have a man in my life who makes me want to have more children. Just typing that sentence reminds me of the misery I went through with my son's pregnancy - I simply cant believe I even feel this way. I knew my son was "sent forth from the others" to ensure that they would in fact be born. I am certain he was required to be so sweet, beautiful and full of life no matter what to trick me into forgetting how much pregnancy sucks! Regardless, I wonder what it is like to have a supporting, unselfish partner to go through those life-changing nine months with. Is it more relaxing? I imagine it to be peaceful with time to enjoy what's happening instead of worrying about paying the mortgage. What's it like to be excited about the new baby instead of afraid of all the changes it brings? I watch this man of mine kiss my child, play with him and care for him as though he were his own. It's not because he is trying to impress me either - and when he asks me "do you think the little guy loves me?" I melt.

warm fuzzies

2006-08-02T14:36:00.000-04:00

A member of crazyhipblogmammas sent out a cool request asking everyone to read other's blogs and post a nice "warm and fuzzy" on their blog. I love discovering new blogs, especially those who are or have been single moms at one point. This pajamamamma is raising three kids, two of which have down syndrome. Makes me feel like a schmuck for thinking my life is at times difficult - I am fine for the most part ( I can hear you chuckling out there!) and truly admire those who love so unselfishly. This world needs more people like her.

ok, so here are the instructions:

1. Leave me a warm fuzzy in my comments.
2. Post a similar entry (or copy and paste this one, giving credit) on your own blog.
3. Leave a warm fuzzy on every blog you visit today.
4. Sit back, read your own warm fuzzies and feel, well, warm and fuzzy!
Enjoy!

Sofa

2006-08-01T15:41:00.000-04:00

Here is the exact text I wrote in an online request form:

"Looking for pricing on upholstry cleaning, my son threw up all over my sofa just after he scribbled on my love seat. Please help!thanks."

I am going to file this one under "joys of motherhood".

Flydi

Ice Cold Water

2006-07-19T20:54:00.000-04:00

Ice cold water seems to help the ridiculous pain I feel in my face these days. It started a few weeks ago and I simply thought it was my jaw reacting to my intense grinding during sleep. This all proceeded to get worse to the point of popping 3 or 4 Advil at a time. I finally visited my dentist who took X-rays while telling funny jokes about teeth. He's a great guy, and all his little tests showed I had "beautiful teeth". Seems to be nothing wrong with them from his perspective. Nonetheless he scheduled me for a root canal as I was complaining of nerve-like pain. This just didn't add up to me. X-rays are fine, but I need a $2,000 root canal? So off to my MD I went. I described the brutal pain attack on the left side of my face the night before. It was unreal, I even categorize this kind of pain on the same level as child birth. It mainly feels like a dull ache near my ear and lower jaw. Then it gets worse and spreads into my teeth and neck, only on the left side. The killer part is the duration of the intensity. Much like a contraction it takes hold, making me cry and kick my feet, and holds on. There's nothing I can do. I have to wait for it to pass.

Anyway this pain happened the night before my doctor's appointment. He diagnosed me with Trigeminal Neuralgia. A rather rare condition that has me freaked out honestly. 40% of people my age get this cause they actually have MS. Hence my freaking out. I have cried my eyes out over this. I held it together as my doctor explained this nerve disease to me, letting me know that "they don't know what causes it" and " doesn't seem to be a cure". Fantastic I thought. Another disease has shown up in my body with no known cause and no cure and I am only 30! How infuriating. I sat in my car in the parking lot for a moment trying to pull my shit together. I called my boyfriend at work (who later brought me roses...yeah he's wonderful) and just hearing his voice I started to cry. I also called my best friend, same thing - her voice just sent me over the edge and I left a weepy, barely recognizable message on her voice mail. I cried behind my big sunglasses at CVS as they handed me the prescription. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself honestly. More than anything I was just scared. Not enough info does this to you. I'm afraid that this is just the beginning and that I wont be around for my son later. Very dramatic thoughts, but hey, no one would ever describe me as boring. There's no real test "they" can give you to diagnose this, it's mainly based on the patient's description. I am currently in a drug induced haze caused by the Carbamazapine and massive pain killers I am on. This plain flat sucks.

Two things help. Ice cold water and ice cream. That's it.

Well this helped my heart feel better: my little son said the sweetest thing to me this morning. I was loading him into his car seat to take him to day care and my face started to really bother me. I winced and he asked me if I was ok. I told him my face hurt but I would be ok soon. Out of his precious lips comes "we should put some cream on it."

I love being a mom.

This guy likes me

2006-07-13T18:20:00.000-04:00

I am a tiny bit more famouser thanks to "This" guy and "this" blog. It's a fantastic blog, full of entertaining stuff - robotic horses included!

Did I ever mention that Glamour wanted to include some info from my torid affair with "the pilot from California"? It was part of a piece my pal Rachel Sarah was writing for the red-haired famously-brave editor Erin Zammet. Anyway, I never heard back from Erin - which is a good thing. I really dont need a story like that being published as I have three men in my life it would effect; my son, my wonderful boyfriend and my loser x-husband. But still, it was a little rush to have Rachel & Glamour interested in my life for a brief moment.

Flydi

Wicked Pissa Summah, so fah

2006-07-13T17:52:00.000-04:00

Went home for almost 10 days recently. I strapped the soon-to-be-3-year-old into his very own seat on the plane, set up the portable DVD player, Thomas the Tank Engine Trains, milk, snacks and promptly flew to Boston. I cried a little as we landed at Logan (and again when we left. big time) as I clearly have romantisized Boston to an unrealistic level. Obviously visiting New England in the summer is a great idea, the weather is usually pretty nice. Had I landed in January I might not of cried. Or maybe I would have but for other reasons. Um helllooo, it's polar bear cold there in January.

I am sitting at my desk right now, alone, with just Sting playing as I type. It's amazing how little time we have to ourselves. I rarely get to just go home and do nothing. No plans. I remember days where I would wake up at 11AM and think "hmmm. what do I want to do today?". They seem so foreign to me now as I have to blow a whistle and pray for nap time to get a moment to "do what I want".

10 days with my little cherub! 10 DAYS. Cant remember the last time I spent that much time with him. He ate a nice peach pie his grandmother made and couldn't grasp that the word "pie" ended after the letter e. In a rather adorable fashion he kept calling it "pirate". Utterly fantastic info for story telling when he is older if I do say so myself! "Where's my pirate?" or "Hey that's MY pirate!" he proclaimed. While visiting friends my son ran around with some other kids touting fake plastic guns (that made loud, annoying semi-automatic sounds). At one point we all decided to go for a walk - and as my son came over to me I literally said "Hey, put the gun down we're going for a walk". I will never get to live that one down. How did those words come out of my mouth? I mean it is a toy gun - but it was simply hilarious to hear myself saying that. I digress.

I visited Martha's Vineyard, went sailing, went to the beach, ate food constantly, sat in rocking chairs, visited Lowell and Westford and my beloved Boston. I for once was a for-real tourist in Fanuel Hall. It's much better that way. Most cities don't have areas like that - street performers, shops, ocean, canolli's, etc all right there. We made a Wally The Green Monster (now being called a dinosaur) at The Build-A-Bear factory, visited Fenway and ate at my favorite restaurant - the 99. Oh! And we rode the T. That alone brought back so many memories of waitressing and being poor, etc. All good stuff!

It's hot as balls in Georgia right now, high 90's every day! I am literally melting.
Flydi

Red Sox Nation South!

2006-06-20T22:12:00.000-04:00

Yeah baby! What a dose of home I recieved this weekend! My boyfriend bought tickets to all three of the Red Sox games versus the Braves this past weekend. Yep, I went to a baseball game Friday night, Saturday afternoon and again on Sunday night. Sunday was the best game by far! The red sox fans out numbered the braves fans by 5-1, and what a rude awakening for Brave's fans. They dont have the same passion for their team like the red sox fans do. Nothing feels better than 40,000 people cheering "Let's go red sox" over and over. Felt like home somewhat. The Brave's fans couldn't be heard for christ sake. The Atlanta Journal Constitution called Turner field "Red Sox Nation South" on Monday. Out in the parking lots the tailgating was mainly being done by Red Sox fans. It was just great! I heard comments like this "ahhh those fucking christians!" dripping with a Boston accent - all because some huge church choir from Georgia came out to sing. Ahh music to my ears. He was even a fat sweaty bastard and as he hiked up to the very top row, where we were all sitting, my boyfriend pointed out his ticket stub. It was stuck somewhat "under" his arm, in his armpit. I was baffled. "Do you think he knows it's there?" I said. We really couldn't tell.

So, here are a few notes for the idiot Brave's fans I came across:

1. We are not booing home-run-hitting extroadinare Kevin Youkilis, we are cheering "Youuuuuu!"

2. Dont ever wear a yankees hat or shirt "just for fun" and expect us to be nice, dumb asses. It's similar to the "issues" ya'll have over the civil war.

3. Northerner's swear. get over it.

4. Stop with the racial degradation of our two best players, Manni and Papi. Do you know how big David Ortiz is? He is 6'4, 230 pounds. And, they are not from Mexico you dumb fucks.

Flydi

Shalom in the Home

2006-06-19T22:58:00.000-04:00

I just caught 1/2 of an episode of the new show on TLC, Shalom in the Home. It's like a Jewish Dr. Phil who makes house calls. No really, it is. He coaches extremely disfunctional families via earpieces through their typical fights and button pushing. I heard an old saying "life is 10% experience and 90% of how you react to it". I used to live by this and have clearly forgotten all about it! I spend a good part of my day feeling frustrated with work, life, etc (don't we all?) and have recently started remembering little anecdotes like the one I mentioned above.

So what I want to know is - What producer is going to step up to reality show hamster-wheel of joint custody? I want to see them make that work! They wont even need to create drama out of nothing - there will be plenty of it regardless! Please pick me.

Today I picked up my son after the long, 4-day stretch he spends every other week at his dad's house. He ran to meet me, barefoot, hugging me with his head on my shoulder and saying "mommie I MISS you! I LOVE you!" oooof. a giant wrecking ball to the chest! My heart hurts so much on that last day of being apart from him, I simply cant wait to hug him. I cant concentrate at work, everything I say cloaks how I really feel. Often I feel lost, faking my way through the moments I have to spend with those who have no idea what I am going through. I am so jealous of parents who see their children every single day. I wonder what that is like! Yes I get a "break" but it's hard switching gears from my non-kid days to kid-filled days. Ever see someone just sitting, alone in their car? you cant tell if they are listening to the radio, talking on the phone or whatever - that's me. It's been over a year now and I am shocked at how little this heartache has subsided. When I am out and about on my non-kid days, I want to scream to no one in particular "Cant you see I miss my beautiful boy!?" Now, before I get pep-talk emails from this post - let me assure you I know some parents never see their children, some people dont have children, etc and I should be thankful ( I AM - BIG TIME) to even have the days I have with my little guy. It still doesnt make me feel better.

keep on keepin' on!
Flydi

30th birthday pics

2006-06-13T16:20:00.000-04:00

This is me, just after getting punched by a little "Saturday night fever" freakazoid. It's documented!

There's a theme here. Closing your eyes doth not make a shot less bad.

Something about wearing a tiara never gets old.

The fake fur bus, and once again....my eyes are closed.

Home made birthday cake. Even had a layer of peanut butter cups! Thanks T!

Hasta la vista 20's....

2006-06-07T10:02:00.000-04:00

I made it! I am finally 30 and it's great! I am no longer "the kid" or the youngest one at the office. Apparently I appear to know things and I even have smile lines forming outside my eyes. I would however like the next 5 years to go by slowly so I can savor them like a well cooked Italian meal. Turning 30 reminds me of opening the back door of my childhood home, coming in out of the freezing cold to a warm (often drafty) old house with the smell of brownies filling the air. Cheesy description but it's true. I feel welcomed here in my 30's, most people I talk to look back on their 20's and say "boy your 30's are so much better". Your 20's are like this arduous obstacle course with booby traps and trap doors.

My 20's were full of mistakes and experiences, obviously all of them molding me into the person I am now but goddamn it was hard! I ate pasta with salt on it cause I was so broke. I didnt have enough money to pay T fare to get to my miserable temp job stuffing envelopes. My relationships with men were part of my identity and my time was governed by whether or not my current boyfriend was with me. I had no idea who I was, how strong I was - I simply seemed to survive. That's no way to live! C'mon now, waiting around for your man to call you? that's a bunch of crap!

Now I feel rather confident in just chilling out. Taking a break from the panic and fear of "oh no! I am not going to make it!" and enjoying all that I have accomplished. How often do we do that in our lives? It's never enough, we have to make more money, buy more stuff, etc. etc.

I dropped my son off at daycare today. He is growing up at a rapid pace these days and my heart hurts knowing I am missing 50% of his time. He was fine, he enjoys his school and friends. Today his class was on the playground and he ran in all excited to see his friends. A minute went by and he turned to the fence, realizing I was leaving and walked up to where he could see over the fence and waved "bye mommy" to me several times. It's heartwrenching. I have to force my feet to turn and get in the car. My brain tortures me with "what if this is the last moment you ever see him?" - it's awful. As I walked away I heard a faint " I love you" in the distance as he continued to wave to me. Makes me cry as I type this. Motherhood sure teaches you how to feel each moment of your life, good and bad.

My sister recently got married. She is beaming and so happy. Her wedding actually helped me see some of the romantic side of marrying the right person. Family drama aside, the wedding was just what she wanted and hearing her choke up during her vows woke me up. I have been pressing snooze on romance for quite sometime folks, assuring people that I didnt need it, it was no good and to watch out for it if it happens. What is my problem? ok, so I am awake now and boy romance feels good when you aren't busy looking for the other shoe to drop!
Flydi

Mother's Day 2006

2006-05-14T23:25:00.000-04:00

Infamous words from this weekend....

1. "This is the first time I have ever given a girlfriend a mother's day gift"

Some words of advice to those who have children in diapers, DONT take a child to the mall who you have just started to make wear underwear instead of diapers. It's one giant trip to the bathroom, over and over. Feels like banging your head against the wall. Just when you think "ok. now that that has been taken care of we can go shopping....." you get another surprise. Many possibilities arise just as you walk to the furthest point in the mall from the bathroom. You have to take their shoes off, help them use the toilet, change them out of their soiled clothes, put them in fresh clean clothes, shoes back on, wash their hands, etc. It's exhausting.

All just part of the job though, a job I am happy to have. I intend to document our journey from diapers to boyhood well so he will fully understand how big a bouquet he should send me on Mother's Day.

This year I have my boyfriend in my life who agressively upheld his "Mr. Wonderful" title by ensuring I had a nice mother's day. I cant help but think of the irony of this. My son is not his child nor his responsibility and yet he went out of his way to make sure I had a nice day. We enjoyed a nice breakfast together, he gave me a gift certificate for a massage and lastly he painted my toenails while my son took a nap. Yes, he painted my toenails. I LOVE THAT! More than the massage or anything. I sat there staring at him while he carefully did this (clearly he has had lots of practice, but I dont need to wander down that thought path) in disbelief. He kept thinking I was inspecting his work, looking for mistakes. He had no idea how shocked I was. I didnt care if he painted my whole damn toe red, it was the mere fact that this was even happening that touched me. Some man, unrelated to my son was pampering ME on mother's day. I had to fight off my usual "no no no, I can paint my own toes..." and just let it happen. *sigh*

Flydi

Doesn't matter how hot you are...

2006-05-11T11:27:00.000-04:00

Seriously. Guys, it doesnt matter how hot you are, if you are old enough to apply for an AARP card it's just not going to work. I dont care if you are "in your 40's" which means you're pushing 50. I dont want to wait in line so you can get your food for $.55 cents cheaper than me thanks to your AARP card.

Why on earth do we hot young women find older men so attractive? I mean I have always dated older men, ALWAYS. It's just how it goes when you are a smartass like me. Boys my age are still playing video games and watching MTV Real World with the hopes of one day getting on the show. For me dating older men was the only way I could avoid running through the wall during dinner like a Looney Tunes character leaving just the outline of body in the wall. I have been told many times that I am intimidating and that anyone who dates me needs to have his shit together and be super confident in himself. Great compliment, but why does it seem that women are simply surpassing men as a species in general? It seems that there are more and more men out there who simply subscribe to the "I am just gonna sit here in my easychair and take up space and then one day I will die". That's it? You dont have to give Mother Theresa a run for her money but do something with your life. Also, those men who are wealthy and draped with women who own fake-boobs need to take a real hard look at reality. Dude, if you were broke she wouldnt want to screw you. It's that simple. Why are you settling for that?

Playboy has an article out about plastic surgery for women's more private bits. HOW INSANE is that?? After creating and growing your precious children we then have to worry about how tight a fit we are to you men - again focusing on YOUR satisfaction instead of ours? Why are we, as smart sexy women tolerating the increased pressure on us to get bigger boobs and "prettier" pussies? Why are we not throwing a fit (clearly I am) over the giant pot-bellied-men waddling around golf courses? I think we should require men to complete a Survivor-like obstacle course before they get laid. Nuff said. Big tits or not, if they cant finish the course they dont get laid.

All fired up!
Flydi

Great hair day!

2006-05-02T14:48:00.000-04:00

I am gonna kill whoever invented Pop Tarts

2006-05-02T14:35:00.000-04:00

I go through phases where I eat really well. It usually lasts for months. Things like swiss chard, tofu, spinach, organic everything, no sweets or desserts, blah blah blah. This is not one of those phases all because of the damn cherry Pop Tarts in the vending machine at work. I get so hungry and they start calling my name. I drift over there like a cartoon-ribbon and simply push C3 and down they fall. Before I realize it they are gone and I still unsatisfied. Curses you POP TARTS!!! I went years and years without you, having no recolection of your taste and now I am ruined. On one rushed morning I skipped my "extra protein" oatmeal and zoomed into work starving. You preyed on me. You knew I would cave.

Today I showed you. I otped for the granola bar (300 less calories!) instead.

With that said, Pop Tarts has an amazingly entertaining website with little pop tart cartoons. Chock full of pop tart drama.

Triathlon #3

2006-04-30T09:09:00.000-04:00

I am now officially a "triathlete" by my own standards. In my warped mind I determined that I wouldn't refer to myself as a triathlete until I had finished three races. So, yesterday I officially became one. This race was so nerve racking for me. After my race in Oregon last year I vowed to train all winter and come back with a vengence. I joined a tri-club, I swam, I lifted weights, I ran and ran and ran, I bought a fancy street bike and all the gear. What I didn't do was buy or wear a wetsuit ever. This was such a mistake on my part! I mean all of my training really helped out - I actually enjoyed this race more than anything as I was finally strong enough to do it. However, since it was April and the race started at 8AM we were allowed to wear wetsuits. I had heard that a wetsuit gives you bouyancy, making it easier to swim, so I was excited about this! I borrowed one from my coach and hung it on my closet door for a month - never swam it, just looked at it.

I wanted to puke I was so nervous standing on the beach yesterday. I was in the last wave, and waded into the water with both MEN and women (this is strange to swim with men). The announcer shouted "30 seconds" and I had to resist the urge to shit myself. Then the buzzer - and we're off like a "heard of turtles". ha ha. I swam so well for the first 100 or 200 yards! Bi-lateral breathing and full on crawl stroke thanks to many many laps in the pool this winter. The wetsuit kept me on top of the water, it was fabulous...well except I couldn't breathe. The suit was too tight and I could'nt take a deep breath...and I started to panic. I flipped over on my back to try to un-do the velcro neckline and unzip it. No dice. I flopped around a little more, doggie paddled or something - I dont really remember. I finally got the zipper unstuck and pulled the top off of my shoulders and let it drag around my waste. AIR, wonderful air filled my lungs and stopped panicing. It's amazing how instinctual we actually are as humans. I had to force myself to focus and start swimming again not to mention the "Diane it's ok just swim" I kept repeating to myself. I passed people! I swam and swam and kept passing people (there is NO better feeling than that, I am sorry). Finally I got out of the water and walked up the hill to my bike - my strength. I was so freaked out from the swim I took my time getting ready for the bike. It was an odd feeling of "why did I do that to myself" and dissapointment in myself.
I snapped out of it and slammed into the bike course with vengence! I am a badass on my bike!
I averaged a good 20mph throughout most of the course. Often I wanted to let up on the pace but told myself "you f-ed up the swim, the bike is the only thing you are good at so peddle damnit!", and there you have it. I raced into the transition for the run feeling redeemed and hoping I could run the whole way.
Sadly at the last 1/2 mile I ran off course as there was no sign and no person directing us to turn right. About 20 of us ran straight for about 5 minutes and realized we were off course. THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!! I finished the race, and got a nice hug from my sweetie - another added bonus to this triathlon - my own fan!

As I wrote this I was getting bummed out - then I realized that I had a great race. I put my face in the water this time! I did the crawl for the most part instead of the side stroke, I had friends there from the tri club I am member of. I ran the whole way and then some! I finished. I started. I have my very own fan club this year.

Cancer cluster found in Ashland?!

2006-04-25T15:26:00.000-04:00

Woah, I just read this and am somewhat surprised that "they" would even admit that this exists! What happens now? Do the families get to sue? sue who exactly? I am so convinced that companies KNOW that the chemicals they put in the products we buy, consume, eat, swim in, touch....trust actually harm us.

click here to read the article on Boston.com

I used to live on the south shore of Boston. My former fiance and I both have thyroid disease. I find it hard to believe that that is a coincidence. He had a tumor on his thyroid he needed removed, I developed Grave's Disease. Just pointing out the ol' "must have been something in the water thing"....

Doggie Daycare

2006-04-20T15:34:00.000-04:00

How come I can log on to a website and view my dog, laying around, playing, etc while she is at doggie daycare but I cant log on to a site and see MY OWN DAMN SON while he's at daycare???

just something to think about...

Grave's Disease again....

2006-04-19T16:05:00.000-04:00

Ok, less than 2 weeks until my first triathlon of the "season". I have been training non-stop for a year now and think I am in a different place physically and most certainly mentally. This winter I joined a tri club and learned how to swim. In fact, I can even swim 3x's the distance I need to swim for my races. Last night was a new experience for me in the pool. We removed the lane markers, and swam circles around human buoys for a 1/2 hour as a group. A "group swim" if you will meant to prepare us for the open-water mayhem of triathlons. Seriously! It's no joke. About 100 people (some numbers are way higher than that) start swimming all at the same time. People swim over each other, kick one another and simply dont care if you dont like it. It's pretty hard to give them the ol SuperFly-Snuka while immersed in water! Anyway, last night was the first time I felt the water pulling me forward, thanks to all of us creating a whirlpool effect as we swam along in a group. Very cool.

My Grave's disease is back. I had a feeling it was rearing it's ugly head - the typical symptoms were showing up last month. I was somewhat sad about this at first as this disease increases my heart rate making it very difficult to workout and train and SLEEP. Flip side is the weight loss. But I'll keep my insane female body-image issues to myself. Regardless I have worked too hard to let this disease eat away at my muscles again rendering me unable to even lift a gallon of milk out of the fridge!

I did enjoy my recent visit with my endocrinologist though. She really explained all of my lab history to me and calmed my fears of the simple radiation treatment they prescribe for Grave's patients. She also informed that I would have an easier pregnancy after receiving this treatment and it would be nothing like the puke-fest I endured with my son. Something about that made me smile.

Sebastian Bach, oh how I love thee.....still.

2006-04-11T10:52:00.000-04:00

My crush from 1989 has never faded, it grows ever stronger each year and rears it's Aqua Net head when I least expect it. I logged on to my beloved Sebastian Bach's website today to see what he is up to. After all he has been busy since his famous "18 and Life" and "I remember you" days staring in broadway shows, VH1's "I Love the 80's" and lately guest appearances as a pizza delivery dude on Gilmore Girls. A friend of mine even recorded an episode for me because it is a well-known fact I love this guy. How pathetic is that?

Pitter Pat, pitter pat goes my little heart. What is it about this guy I love so much? He's 6' 7 or somethin and still has a flat stomach and massive amounts of enthusiasm for whatever he does.

Nah that's not it. It's his style, his sense of humor, his "what you see is what you get" attitude. This quote made me bust out laughing:

"One down side to a career like Sebastian's, where country-hopping and coast-to-coast flights are all a part of the daily grind, is being away from one's family (often for months at a time). Regardless, Bach would never complain about the negatives that come with traveling and rock 'n' rolling all over the world."If you're gonna play the game, fuckin' get ready, or you're toast," he said energetically. "And if you're not prepared for all the attention and the time away from home and everything, don't do it. "I read about all these British bands who are huge in England and they try to crack the States, and I laugh at these articles, like the guys in The Darkness saying, 'We had no idea how big America was- like the drives between the shows.' I'm like, 'Shut the fuck up!'" Sebastian broke out laughing. "You're complaining about driving to the next city? Why do you do this? You're lucky to be driving to the next town. 'It's so hard. I didn't know how big America was.' Then fuck off back to England!"

You can see for yourself here....You can be sure I will be tuned in on May 18th to VH1 to see the new reality rock band show he is staring in with Ted Nugent, Scott Ian, Jason Bonham. etc. The show is called "Supergroup". Um hello???? Ted Nugent? Does anyone remember the reality show where he chased idiots around his farm and shot at them? I cant wait to watch this show!

I gotta go do my hair!
Flydi

I consider myself a "Millennial Mom"

2006-04-07T11:39:00.000-04:00

Fast Company published this fabulous article about "who are the moms of 2005". It's more about reaching these moms from a marketing perspective, but I was still intrigued by the different descriptions. I am exactly their description of the "Millennial Mom". And for those who are taking note I was 26 when my son was born.

"Age 27 or younger, Millennial Mom is the newest mom on the block, and she's the first generation to use technology to seamlessly blend work and life. Not long out of college or high school, she's facing many firsts: marriage, babies, insurance, jobs, maybe even owning a house. Hyper-connected and beyond tech savvy, Millennial Mom's world is both physical and virtual, bringing social connection and life-skills management as close as a computer or cell phone. She's busted out of previous generations' isolation challenges during those early, tethered-to-the-house years. You'll find her plugged into Myspace.com or TheNest.com, sharing worries, excitement, and ideas with her online family. Products like mythum mobile coupons and Infinity Broadcasting Visual Radio -- delivered right to her cellphone -- resonate with her values of connectivity and access, seamlessly going where she goes."

They forgot to mention divorce as one of the many firsts she might be experiencing! I dont recall much from those hazy first 6 months of mommyhood. I do remember the voracious reading I was doing to learn how to be a mom. haha. I signed up on Babycenter.com, parent magazine, etc etc to make sure I was learning the latest way to make baby food at home. Last weekend I pulled out my "The Happiest Toddler On The Block" book just to check on some interesting behavior patterns my son is now demonstrating. It occured to me that I hadnt read any baby books, magazines or how-to guides on parenting in quite a while! My motherhood-confidence had apparently stepped in a while ago when I wasn't looking and guess what is so cool about that? I TRUST MYSELF to make the best decision for my child on my own! woo hoo!

And to think I didnt know how to change a diaper when he was born!

It's that time of year again....

2006-04-06T13:04:00.000-04:00

It is spring - big time. Flowahs everywhere, growing grass and love. In Bambi they actually call it "Twitterpated" - which I am happy to report I am in fact twitterpated with my Elvis loving man. He uses the word "wicked" and I feel my homesickness loosening it's grip on me. He cooks me dinnah! He calls me jellybean which really makes me giggle like an idiot - it's sooooo dainty, which I am not. But I am eating it up. In fact I am surprised at how well this is going, seriously. I spend a lot of time thinking "is this real?" as I search the sky for the proverbial "other shoe". He plays with my son making him belly laugh till he gets the hiccups. How'd I get so lucky?

I dont want to jinx it anymore than I have so I am going to stop here.

Next subject. I am a co-maid of honor in my sister's wedding. This is fine, but bridal headquarters has made the BRA events (bridesmaid related activities - care of head honch ho) somewhat pricey. I fear I have offended my little sis by not attending a very expensive bachelorette party in Vegas. I called her in fact and told her I was so sorry I was too strapped to go but I came up with a brilliant suggestion! "how bout in a couple years when you are sick of your husband we plan a trip together instead?". Which, I think is a much better idea! I just hope she does....

The Eviction Process; aka HELL

2006-03-23T14:11:00.000-05:00

I need to vent! I have tried really hard over the past year to "keep" my real estate investments going. Seriously, I own two houses, both are rented. ONE is rented to a LOSER. Big time. She has never paid her rent on time, usually about 2 weeks late and always after I have called her several times. FOUR of her checks have bounced. Which causes all kinds of chaos in my own account. She paid her rent super-late in February and then her check bounced. That's the last time I received any money from her, actually January was the last time I received any money from her that was valid. At this point she owes me about $1200 bucks. So, I called her and called her. No answer. No return phone calls. I filed eviction paperwork. This costs $70 bucks. She had 7 days to respond to get a hearing. She responded that it was "all just a misunderstanding, I intend to pay past due rent ASAP". Now it is March, and rent is due, again. Her tab is up over $2400 plus court fees. Keep in mind the mortgage is still due, as is my rent. I am not happy about paying for two households although it is apparent that this what I do in March. Last year I got divorced in March and had to pay for both houses from December through April as my loser x husband wouldnt and since his name wasnt on anything he didnt really have to. I digress. We had a court date for 4pm on a Tuesday. An hour before the court date the tenant from hell CALLS ME and leaves me a message that she wont be in court and that she called the court to let them know. WHAT? It's not a nail appointment you can just reschedule! It's a hearing, in front of a judge!! So I go to court, she doesnt show, I get a court order (this all took a painful 3 hours...) and apply for a "writ of possession". I have to pay $20 dollars for this. This is the drama portion of the process. I now have to wait for a marshall to call me and schedule an appointment to evict her and place her belongings on the public right of way. It's been over 2 weeks since that day, I still have not heard from the marshall and according to the court I am not allowed to go to the house until I do. Meanwhile April is fast approaching and I am still not collecting any of the money this girl owes me! Her tab is up to $2600 and April is only a few days away.

Eviction. There are too many laws protecting tenants. I pay for this house. I am responsible for this house. She does not have any babies that would be out in the cold if I kicked her out. In fact, her very own reason for not paying the rent was because she was on vacation in Costa Rica!!!

So she is still living in my house, for free. I am very angry about this.
Flydi

Purple Rain

2006-03-17T10:08:00.000-05:00

OOOh! I got to see Prince last night courtesy of the "boyfriend of the year" candidate. Well actually it was this morning as he didnt come on stage till 12:20am. The ol' brain is a little foggy today. Prince is on tour, playing guitar for Tamar, Toni Braxton's younger sister. Tamar can sing! She can dance! She's gorgeous! I did some homework before the show and read reviews from other cities they had been to. Apparently Prince didnt play much of his own material and kept it all on Tamar. Not the case in the ATL though. The lights all went dark and then ...only the purple ones came on.....and OH MY GOD he played Purple Rain!! He segued right into Go Crazy, and the Tabernacle did. The floor was bouncing! Great show....here's a video of Prince for you all taken just before a bouncer could figure out *who* had a camera and yank it out of their hand.

Video Sharing at DropShots.com

Man I am such a slacker!

2006-03-14T10:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry I just couldn't think of anything snazzy to write about lately. Well, except for the utter prehistoric move South Dakota recently made against female reproductive rights. What the fuck is going on here? Why are we now going backwards? Do I have to go march bra-less in DC somewhere to resurrect the women's feminist movement of the 60's? How on earth did South Dakota get away with this? I mean they are tucked way up there in the frozen tundra section of our country away from societies that actually contribute to the betterment of mankind.

Nah, I don't want to get into the pro-choice conversation. I considered writing about Kristin Armstrong's article in Glamour about the reality of marriage. She hits the nail on the head baby! We throw all these parties for newly-engaged girls, usher them up the aisle and promptly turn the other cheek to the REALITIES of marriage when most of us know how awful it can get. I realize that advice on how to stay married, not loose yourself in marriage and grow with your partner are not words a sweet wedding-crazed bride-to-be wants to hear, however it's time we plucked our heads out of the sand and stopped the commercialization of "love". I mean we are not stooooopid, but we refuse to believe our handsome husband-to-be could possible be someone we would want to kill, especially over something dumb like snoring? Why not take a different approach to lifetime commitment? Instead of feeling like the plush toy "selected" by the metal claw and bedazzled (branded?) with a giant diamond ring why don't we give the man an obstacle course and some logic puzzles?

Nah, I need a new subject. I always bash marriage even though I really want to live happily ever after. How am I going to get away from my jaded stance of marriage and head towards my ideal of warm family meals, wally-wagon type family vacations and belly-laughing moments with more children? Any suggestions will be considered.

Lastly, there is a new show. "The New Adventures of Old Christine" staring Julia Louise Dreyfus as a single mom! It's fantastic! I just happened to catch the premiere of this new show last night. It's fantastic! Bravo! I will now watch this show every Monday night and feel fabulous that I too am a single mom.

Flydi

This Infuriates Me!

2006-03-01T14:57:00.000-05:00

I cant believe how prehistoric some of our states are! What is wrong with you Mississippi???? What gives a state the right to force a woman who has been RAPED to go through a nine month pregnancy and have a child? Why is she not given the choice? I don't think abortion should be used as a form of birth control - I do think unwanted pregnancy is a difficult situation and should be evaluated on a case by case basis. Regardless it seems to me that Mississippi is missing the boat here. Why not offer counseling services for women who are dealing with unplanned or unwanted pregnancies?

This is the exact paragraph that sent me into a tail spin:

JACKSON, Miss. - A state House committee voted to ban most abortions in Mississippi, which already has some of the strictest abortion laws in the nation. The bill approved by the House Public Health Committee on Tuesday would allow abortion only to save the pregnant woman's life. It would make no exception in cases of rape or incest. The bill now goes to the full House, which could vote next week, and then to the Senate.

Boy am I fired up!
Flydi

How is it you are doing as well as you are??

2006-02-22T15:50:00.000-05:00

Someone said that to me today just after I told him about my psychic Aunt. This guy is a co-worker and gets the privilege of listening to all of my stories about the variety of characters that make up my family. Top 2 are definitely my mom and my psychic Aunt. My Aunt has been on the Discovery channel, Unsolved Mysteries, TLC, etc for her psychic detective work. It's a little out there but hey - if she is solving crimes why not?

My mother on the other hand, has taken it upon herself to lob comments at me that will either fluster me, embarrass me or cause those we are with to think "holy shit, did she actually say that out loud?". I am not sure why this happening but I am thankful that those that care for me don't take her comments too personally. After all most people are used to being asked if they have a criminal record and massive amounts of debt right? right? no? During the same conversation my former fiance' was brought up AS WELL AS my x-husband, all to rattle my latest hunk, I am sure. She had it out for him. He rolled with it - but really now! Why would you ask me about "the beautiful watch your x fiance gave you, do you still have that?" during dinner? She knew the answer to this - I am clearly wearing it on my wrist. This is very similar to pulling the pin out of a grenade with your teeth and lobbing it into your neighbors pool party. Prior to this I was complimented in a very old-fashioned and rather romantic way by the aforementioned hunk: "Diane is one of the most amazing women I have ever met" he says. Her response? Are you even ready for it?? "Oh, you are not the only man to ever say that to her, trust me."

GASP! WHAT???!!! I mean that could be a compliment whereby lots of men think I am amazing - that was not the angle she was taking. Trust me. How had my very own mother become the wingman to my x's?? oy vey!

So, back to my subject of "How is it you are doing as well as you are?". Am I? One could ration that I am not doing that well afterall. In fact I have some serious catching up to do. My Aunt is an INTERNATIONAL PSYCHIC DETECTIVE, what am I????! For a week now I have pondered posting things about my own mother. I felt guilty about it until I realized writing and publishing it might just keep her from doing it again! AH HA! I am onto something here! Now if I could take the dinner event mentioned above and toss in some jello shots and pushup contests I would have a family event a little more like this guy: Bad News Hughes.

more to come......

The Space Between My Heart and ...

2006-02-20T16:15:00.000-05:00

I have two identities. Two lives almost. Over the past year they cropped up. Both are very much "me" and not some fantasy land I live in, but I cant help but feel the effects of both existing. What I am getting at is the person I have to be when my son is not with me, and the person I am when he is with me. People meet me when I am not with him and say things like "You're a mom?!" which is both a compliment and an insult. I am relieved that I don't look like the stereotypical mother (c'mon you all know what that is) but saddened that I don't have this outwardly maternal presence. Or at least I cover it up. I see babies on tv now and cant change the channel, I am mesmerized by their adorable feety pajamas. I cant bear to watch children in danger in the movies, and I feel sick to my stomach if something happens to a child on the nightly news. Anyway. When my son is not with me my heart hurts, I don't pay attention to people's stories as much and I still cant go in his room without it affecting me somehow. It feels so unnatural to actually BE a mother who is not allowed to BE with her child. It's as though you are talking to someone who as on a wig. You know they are wearing a wig, they know they are wearing a wig but everyone is supposed to pretend like's it actually real hair??

For example. I was in a certain part of the city this weekend, running errands. My son was with his dad. I later found out that I was less than a block away from them at the same time! That even feels weird to type let alone experience. I mean I had NO IDEA I was so close to my little son. "Bumping into" my 2 1/2 year old just doesn't fit my view of parenting. It brings back the horrendous memory I have of sitting in my lawyers office listening to him say, "Diane, you cant control every single moment of your child's life anymore with joint custody. You're gonna have to get used to that". I twisted my hands together and sobbed in the big red leather chair with brass studs. At that moment it was all I could do to actually sign the divorce papers I had been carrying around with me for months. Obviously staying miserably married wasn't an option - I just couldn't believe the price my son and I would have to pay as a result. These are the things I think about when someone is talking to me. Especially if I am really missing my son. So to those of you I do this to I am truly sorry.

See? I can be domestic sometimes.

2006-02-16T13:58:00.000-05:00

Confederate Flags, Walmart and Cell Phones

2006-02-10T16:10:00.000-05:00

These are all things I have issues with. When I first moved to Atlanta I couldn't believe that this city would even put the Confederate Flag up for a "vote" to re-become the state flag! Daily, an article would appear in the AJC about how much heritage surrounded the rebel flag. Now, as a Yankee I found this SHOCKING. How on earth was this possible? There are actually people living here that think this is a good idea? I would see the Rebel Flag proudly waving in the breeze from the back of a jacked-up truck covered in mud. They also took the form of bumperstickers. How could people want a flag representing their sweet, southern state that signified so much pain for the majority of the Georgia population? Fortunately Georgia was able to come to their senses and went with a less-offensive version.

Next up is WalMart. I WONT shop there. Wont is a very powerful word. It means that I could in fact do something, I just choose not to. Walmart wont do business ethically and seeks to create quite the facade through their advertising that they are in fact, contributing to society. This is accomplished by hiring sweet elderly people to greet me at the door, hiring illegal aliens to work a bazillion hours a week with no benefits and to top it off, buying products offshore that are made by little children with no shoes on their feet. How can one shop there and not feel guilty about feeding the WalMartavore?

Onward to my disdain for Cell Phones. Stop answering them, you are simply not that important. Don't talk on the phone while ordering your meal at a restaurant. Don't call me and then put me on hold simply because your call waiting beeped, you're not that important. If you are a cellphone addict don't go to my gym and chat while you *pretend* to work out. You are clearly not working hard enough if you can chat on the phone! DON'T go to the bathroom at work while talking to YOUR CLIENTS on the phone. Don't ride your bike and talk on the phone, (I cant believe people do that) and lastly please stop disciplining your children while you talk to me, really now you can call me back after taking care of the situation.

Johnny Cash loves me!

2006-02-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

I came across this note to a woman named "Diane" at Sun Studios. It reads:

"To Diane, Best Wishes, Johnny Cash"

Elvis and I are now good friends

2006-02-07T15:47:00.000-05:00

Boy am I refreshed! A good dose of Memphis ought to fix anyone. Seriously, if you cant have fun there you are an idiot. Blues, Bar-B-Q, Beer and The King of Rock n' Roll. What more could ask for? Aside from a tall dark handsome guy to sing you Elvis songs.

Graceland is surprising. Nestled into the ghetto of Memphis and nowhere near Beale St., it boasts an extensive amount of heart wrenching sentimentality. Fans are shuttled onto the beloved property and allowed to paruse the first floor, basement and grounds *ONLY*. No flash photography (unless by accident, like MOI), no video and dont even think of trying to walk onto the property if you happen to walk by. Aside from these oddities it was very moving. I found myself irritated with Lisa Marie and her complete lack of charisma given who her own father was.

Moving on you have to hit Beale St where you can buy beer from a "walk-up-window" at a bar and then continue on down the road, beer in hand. Blues music is everywhere! I felt like a little kid walking up to a parade thinking "oh let's go here, wait this looks better, let's go here" and ending with "man where do I start!".

Go to Memphis. Stay at the Peabody Hotel. Watch the ducks come off the elevator and dive into the hotel's fountain. Visit Graceland and pay some respect to Sun Studios. Then dance the night away at the Rum Boogie Cafe.

Hunting

2006-01-24T13:59:00.000-05:00

So. I just remembered this story while out walking my dog. I was thinking about some of the weirdest dates I had been on thus triggering an e-contest with my friends to see who could come up with the oddest and/or funniest date. Votes are still rolling in, but I believe I may have the winner.

A while ago I met a nice guy for a late dinner at a diner. He is very handsome, big blue eyes, tall, fit, nice smile - ya know all the superficial stuff. He swore that he "loved kids" and even had the job to prove it as he is a middle school phys ed teacher. I thought "ok, this guy has some potential". Woooo hooo was I wrong! Man I am already laughing as I type this thinking back to when I thought this was even a possibility.

Ok, the first red flag goes a little somethin' like this: during dinner he talks about sleeping with some girl who showed up at his friends house when they were watching football. He had never met her before, wasnt attracted to her but since she was willing "why not?". Sleeping is a much kinder word than what he used. I dont even remember why he was telling me this!

Next was the description of how he typically meets women. "I go to the mall and have no problem asking girls for their phone number. Sometimes I run into my students and ask them where all the nice girls are." WTF????? His students?? PICKING UP CHICKS AT THE MALL??? This bohunk is almost 40 folks. Yuck.

He tried to convince me to let him come over to my house. Bad idea. All I wanted to do was have the date end! I told him that we didnt have a lot in common and that I wasnt the right girl for him. He continued to ask me why, and with each attempt I grew more and more impatient with him as he clearly didnt get that I was an inch away from shoving an apple in his mouth and roasting him on a spit. I did however manage to tell him that my dog loved to go swimming, leading into the fact I am an outdoorsy type person and he is not - YET another reason we were not a good fit.

His response is painfully funny. He launched into a description of hunting with his cats. Yes ...CATS. "hunting is about as outdoorsy as you can get" he said, "I felt bad for my cats so I brought them with me one day to hunt squirrels." I naturally assumed the cats were on their own, but I went ahead and asked anyway "How did you keep track of your cats while you were laying very still in the grass hunting squirrels?". He replied with, I kid you not, "Oh I didnt let them out of the carrier! Christ they would have run away! I just wanted them to watch me."

Such a waste of a handsome man. *sigh*

Sleep

2006-01-20T08:06:00.000-05:00

I recently came across this picture and it made me laugh out loud. I am so completely asleep in this picture, I remember that exact night of sleep very well. It was the first night my son had slept through the night! He was three months old and we were visiting my family in Massachusetts.

The little guy is so cute in this picture, big bags under his eyes yet so tickled to be laying there! He hasnt changed a bit!

Sleep well, ya'll. ha .ha.

Flydi

First Trip to the Beach

2006-01-15T13:10:00.000-05:00

The Nationwide Virtual Cat Fight

2006-01-15T12:22:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a busy week it has been here at Blogdamnit headquarters. People are even calling me about all of the posts on here, not to mention the additional debating going on at happy hour. "To each his own" and "live and let live" seem to be the theme. Some think it is the god-given right for Southern Belles to live in their 1940's style of ignorance assuming those that don't live like they do are awful people and should git thy-self to church ASAP. The master manipulators that they are, they must be exhausted trying to make this world a better place while looking so darn perfect at the same time. I may just start a national "wear white shoes in October" day to drive them nuts. Pushing those Belle's buttons is irresistible!

All of this bickering made me think back to the all-women triathlon I finished this past summer. Let me first remind you of how hard a triathlon is to begin with. It takes about 2 hours to finish sprint distance if you train for it. I was shocked to see sooooo many women there on race day. There were bionic types to couch potatoes. Most were there to start this race and become an entirely different person when they finished. I was amazed at how supportive the female species was to each other. Women were helping and cheering each other on during the swim, and as I started out on the run I realized that most men would NEVER support each other this way. That's what's so great about women, we rally for each other. The "strength in numbers" theme of the labor unions is instinctual to us. The bionic women who finished the race in an hour looped back around to run with women who were struggling and needed some cheerleading. It was simply amazing. Those that finished the race cheered on all the women who were still going. Women also did this when I was violently ill during my pregnancy. They would discover why I had a vacant stare on my face due to the extensive nausea I suffered from and they would help, immediately. Puking in public is humiliating and I remember this lady, a complete stranger getting out of her car and bringing me a warm washcloth to clean up with. Women are nurturers in many, many ways. All of their actions an expression of themselves.

Cat Fight
Pregnancy

Attack of the Southern Belles!

2006-01-12T14:11:00.000-05:00

Drama! A southern belle has raised her Mary Kay spackled head and tried to attack! Of course, she is incognito and too afraid to leave her email address or her own blog link for me to respond to her pathetic attempt at “reprimanding” my evil ways. All she has done has further confirmed my opinion of “Sweet Southern Belles”, You’re FAKE. How can you be so sweet and caring, a self-appointed-motherhood-expert who hasn’t walked a mile ever – let alone in others shoes, and leave such a mean comment on a complete strangers blog? I bet you would even say “Bless your heart, you don’t even realize how much of a bitch I am” to me in person!

I fed her to the wolf pack this morning. My email has been buzzing away with responses and I just had to share with EVERYONE (that’s over 200 visitors per day) what went down with this loser from Florida.

Here’s what started it all:

SweetSouthernBelle writes:
Let me start off by saying .. I am a Southern Belle my mothere is from NC and my Father is from BOSTON .. and I can say with all honesty that my heart lies in the south .. I have spent time in both places .. and the south is a much friendlier kinder place to be. I have also noticed a trend with Women from the North that their priorities are a bit skewed.. Women such as yourself put themselves before their family and their children..Your carreer means more to you than your child .. Your "ME" time is more important to you than the time you could be spending with your child..sadly enough I have read your blog and was very unimpressed with the person you are ..It is not enough to just keep a human being "alive" you must have compassion and love and be able to ineract with that child on their level . It is not about knowing when they are going to fall or get hurt it is about being able to comfort that child when they do get hurt and have the gentleness that all mothers should have .. That touch that makes everything in the world right in that childs world. You are exactly what I would expect from a woman that was raised in Boston .. Please do not take that as a compliment because it is not intended as one ..I have read your entire blog and the only person you truly are concerned about is YOURSELF... Maybe if you were a better woman you wouldn't be divorced or maybe you could find yourself a nice well educated man.. As for myself I am a well educated Southern belle that puts my family ahead of everything else. So grow up and learn what is truly important in life .. Stop with all the "poor me's"and stop throwing yourself all the pitty parties you induldge yourself with .. and start being a REAL WOMAN and a REAL Mother! ! ! ! !

And here are the responses! Woo hoo!!

1. I think by 'Sweet Southern Belle' she really meant 'Stupid Southern Bitch'.
Clearly she has some issues if she has to lash out at strangers online!
And by writing a message like this she's only driving the entire point of your blog home.
Keep doing what you're doing. This woman will never be truly happy.

2. Holy crap, what a beaytch. Let's Google-bomb her.

3. Don't southern belles know that if you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY
ANYTHING AT ALL?? A real care giver knows how to care for a family AND herself. This
lady is going to snap one day, trust me.

4. She needs to get laid.

5. What a bitch! I hope you put her in her place! She's probably at home, thumping her bible, praying for your soul and praying that you become a better mother! LOL LOL LOL LOL

6. Seriously, let me at her! I am appalled!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a freakin' beeeeatch! Yeah, she is just full of southern freaking charm. Puuullllllllllleeeasse!!!!!!!
Please, please tell me you won't take a single thing she said seriously. This woman has about as much individualism as a freaking lemming.
You're a wonderful mother and person. You grow stronger, smarter, deeper, wiser, and more beautiful every time I talk to you. You're open and honest and you put it out there. You care more about your son that anything. And you are still an individual. That is what gets me. Just because you have a child doesn't mean you have to be less of yourself. Your heart and mind did not shrink in order to make room for this child - they grew bigger. Too many people have children and a family as an excuse to stop being an individual.
Those who can't lead follow. Those who can't be a 21st century woman become her. They put their husband and their children and the rest of their family first because they have to. They can't think for themselves. It's easier that way. Individual thought takes time. It takes practice. And confidence. It is the essence of being human. Always making sure everyone else is happy isn't harder - it's easier. Never worrying about yourself - it's a cop out of your own life. Well, ya know what, southern belle, you're not yourself. You're no one. You're nothing. You're just some photoshopped face pasted into a family portrait. You don't have a personality. You are another faceless, SUV driving, Starbucks toting, manicured, dolled up, Kate Spade carrying, generic stepford wife whose life is on auto-pilot.
Trust me, Flydi is a more of a human being than you can ever hope to be. Now stop reading this blog and go back to your damn Nicholas Sparks novel.

6. Let me start off by saying that sweetsouthernbelle1215 should know about what she speaks before she pontificates or spews such ugliness. I know this "blogger" you speak of and I know her well. That you dog her makes me insanely upset. I see her every week with her child and know that nothing and no one is more important to her than this child. Having said that, she is an adult who has and will continue to provide for herself emotionally instead of placing that burden on her children as would appear you do. Your children have the potential to grow up with the inflated sense of self due to you making them the center of your universe. Take responsibility for your own emotional state and show your children by example as this "blogger" does every day. Do not burden your children with your "family first" crap attitude. We all have our family's needs first so don't go thinking you're something special with that directive or that you wrote the book on that topic. Because you choose to place your children's needs above your own needs gives them the sense that they are more important than others, that their needs will and must be met first before considering anyone elses. It will be our good- natured, well behavied, kind and caring chldren who will bail this country out of the financial and social ruins your children will leave it in and we will have people like you to thank for raising such selfish and self centered little bastards Like GW Bush.
Southernbelle1215, thank you from the bottom of my own southern heart. I am glad to know this blogger and find her to be one of the most repsectable, intelligent and kind mothers I've ever met. You've reminded me of how good she really is and off-center southern women can be. Thank the maker we aren't all like you!!

I love my life, thanks girls!
Flydi
southern belle
single mother
mother

If I ever get married again

2006-01-08T22:10:00.000-05:00

Now this is more like it! Enough with all the frills, flowers and tom-foolery at weddings. It's time Rock n Roll made it's way to the aisle. I have been in so many weddings as a bridesmaid and strolled down the aisle to some romantic classical music as my delicate virgin feet stepped on rose petals, blah blah blah. BARF. Let's throw some electric guitar in there! A rock band that cuts into AC/DC as soon as the first kiss is over with a wild version of "Shook me all night long".

If I ever get married again I will request this electric guitar version of a tried-n-true wedding song. It's simply fabulous, not to mention the hot Japanese guy performing it from his little bedroom. Click on the title of this post "If I ever get married again" to see it.

I am insane. I know. You all love it.

Flydi

When I least expect it, and need it most

2006-01-03T18:30:00.000-05:00

I burst into tears the other day. This happens when you are a single mom. I was really looking forward to a quick workout at my gym, helps to clear your head ( a little "me" time is great too). Anyway, I called ahead to make sure the day care was open, they informed it was closed that day but the following day it would be open. Bummer. So the following day I bundled up the kid and off to the gym we went. I got there, and I just knew something was off as soon as my eyes connected with the brand new bubbly front desk chick. "Oh no! our day care is closed today! I saw you walking in with him, I am so sorry!". It was all I could do to keep from freaking out on her. I mentioned that I had called, blah blah blah.

So now I am trying not to get bent out of shape over this. I load up my son in his car seat. I climb into my seat. Turn the car on and promptly burst into tears muttering something about "...just need a break! blglgeoikejlwaaaahhhh."

Angel child from the back seat becomes very quiet and then says "mommy, u crying? mommy u ok?" - it immediately makes me smile and I respond with "yes mommie is crying but I am ok and I love you". Then angel child says "Want Wallace sing mommy a song?" and he starts to sing Frosty the Snowman for me from his carseat.

Precious. 100 points for the 2 1/2 year old!

(I then took him to his favorite play ground)

Oh THANK GOD it's 2006!!

2006-01-01T00:08:00.000-05:00

What an f-ing year 2005 was! I say that every year, I swear. 2006 ought to be a booze-fest though, I turn 30 in 2006, my little sister is getting married, other friends are getting married, yada yada yada. Can you believe that my new year's resolution last year was to "get divorced"? Done. Any others? hmmm "run a triathlon". Done x2.

Regardless of how stooopid your resolution might be, I wish everyone a wonderful New Year! Make sure it is full of stories to tell, good and bad - that's how you know you're human and really alive.
love
Flydi

Like mother, like son.

2005-12-30T16:58:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of ME when I was 2. My son could be a spittin' image of me if he had green eyes.

Christmas Eve

2005-12-24T23:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, I am on Miller Lite #3 and my 20th petit four. I finally see my little guy tomorrow at 2. By then I will have surely finished this entire box of "pitty fours".

Let's take it way back...to Medieval times!

2005-12-22T09:16:00.000-05:00

I was just writing a friend an email and went on a major rant, I really liked it and thought I would share it all with you.

Here 'tis:

Women settle all the time out of fear of loneliness. For some reason it is drilled into our heads as little girls that there is something wrong with us if we are single. Seriously. It starts at all the middle school (6th through 8th grade) dances, all the popular girls had boyfriends - thus meaning they were not sitting down, by themselves listening to "crazy for you" AGAIN by Madonna. The rest of us got to sit there, unpopular (too tall!!) and watch, wishing the guys all sitting together on the other side of the room would come ask us to dance. I really wish women would stop this crazy train. The bridal industry would go out of business, divorce rates would go down. I say let's get back to the medieval roots where men had to slay huge dragons, ride horses and have a glorious reputation before a girls father would allow her to even walk with him somewhere. We women would end up happier if we enveloped the mantra of "wow me, woo me, impress me". Guys WANT to do this, it's instinctual for you men - the proverbial CHALLENGE. I have notoriously made it way to easy for a guy to "get me". "oh dont worry, I climbed down from the highest peak of the castle where I was locked away all by myself, then I built a bridge to cross the moat cause I figured you were tired from riding that horse here, and before I shimmied down the castle I made you lunch cause I knew you'd be hungry." That's how I have done things in the past. That is how I ended up married to a man who had no problem letting me handle all of our bills, our new baby - my own "tough guy" exterior got me there! NOW I aim for "yeah, I can climb down that castle, what chu got? Can you climb UP it?" I have to make a conscious effort to not make things easier. It's confusing at times and I worry that I may give a guy the wrong impression that I am not interested. But I will be damned if I make it ridiculously easy anymore. We shall see, like I said, a new path - new journey.

Men + Space = Happy Men Who Want You

2005-12-20T22:38:00.000-05:00

I very rarely worry about this being a public site, however lately I cant help but be annoyed by a certain someone who visits this site many many times per day. It's fine, but what are they looking for? What are they hoping to find and why am I so darn interesting to her? This only bugs me because she put forth a very public effort to break up a relationship in hopes that the gentleman (and BOY is he a great guy!!) involved would somehow fall in love with HER. Now that don't make no kinda sense son. I knew I didn't like Alabama, in fact I was AFRAID to go there because I was convinced my Yankee ass would be run off the road by a home-made nitrous-infused monster truck, complete with a flag pole mounted in the bed of the truck for their ever-so-lovely confederate flag. Barf. C'mon, there's a sharp reality outside of the south similar to a cold bucket of water for those types.

Little girls with crushes truly take all leave of their senses and get lost in their fairytale dreams of prince charming (probably gay) and marriage (bwah ha ha) causing them great humiliation. This humiliation can be avoided if they just realize how great a person they are and start embracing "everything happens for a reason". Don't stalk men. No one likes that, in fact men like the exact opposite of that. Play hard to get. Don't return their phone call 4 seconds after they call you. Even if you don't have a life (that's a whole nuther' post) pretend like you do. Don't email him a million times a day, resist the urge to write your first name with his last name in your notebook. Stand up for yourself! You can be a hot sexy bitch with a little aloofness. Men + space = happy men who want you. A good friend once said to me "I sat there waiting for him to call, I had lost complete control of the situation. So I turned my phone off and went out." This is an excellent example of not being pathetic. A girl should never wait by the phone ( I have, recently even!) - get up, get out and go meet someone else (which I did). Most importantly never ever throw yourself at a guy, don't try to convince him he's with the wrong girl cause if he cant see that himself how is he going to see that you are in fact the RIGHT girl? If he chooses someone else well - his loss. Just means there is someone else out there for you.

one hot sexy bitch,
Flydi

Men.

2005-12-19T22:07:00.000-05:00

R.I.P match.com. What a weird strange trip it's been. I will miss your daily tidal wave of emails from poor unsuspecting males in the bowls of Georgia, Alabama (ugh.), Tennessee, SWEDEN, etc. However I wanted to thank you for the hours of entertaining profiles to read, ogle over (I swear you create fake ads using models who don't exist to keep us interested). It would not surprise me if match.com was run out of the basement of some 15 year old's house where in between Xbox games and cheetos this punk is writing back to all of us pathetic women. I will say that there were a couple of surprises in there, and I thank you for the "bones" you threw me, even if they are in fact on the other side of the damn country or in CANADA for christ sake.

Match, you helped me realize that I am a hot piece of ass regardless of my mom status. Problem is the over-abundance of "fish-in-the-sea" you provide us. The slightest flaw or inconsistency in someone we all throw em' back cause we know tomorrow you will send us 10 more dudes to check out. I probably overlooked some really nice guys, that had I met somewhere else I would have considered.

yep, time for me to go. I have been recognized by a complete stranger while out riding my bike. It felt exactly like the moment my mom told me I needed to wear a bra in front of all of my little friends. I was mortified. SO, I have decided to pester my friends and get really drunk at their parties and hit on their husband's poor brother. Which reminds me, you F-ING married men!! WHAT IS YOUR DEAL??? It's not my fault you are a chicken shit and stay miserably married because you are "doing it for the kids", who are not stupid by the way, but my point being - ah- oh yeah, don't strut around with your feathers all displayed and use me to make you feel like the stud you once were (or so you say). What's really in it for me? Blech, baarf!

Match, you have apparently helped many people find true love and I'll eventually forgive you for all of the tall, hot, republicans you sent me. A for effort.
Ciao, I'm off to meet men the old fashioned way.
Flydi

Now for some random good stuff....
***warning, sexually explicit comments below - DAD please don't read any farther***

Penis size has come up lately in numerous conversations with my friends. We have been discussing the serious relationships in our life and how those men were, well, small. In fact remarkably small. My first boyfriend was just the wrong person to start out of the gates with. The bar was set into outer space with his freak-of-nature-multi-orgasmic skills. I alos have a friend, god it is so tempting to put his name here and a link to his website but his fiance wouldn't like that, anyway - this friend is huge. He has since stopped wearing underwear as it is uncomfortable. So he says ;) However I am rather certain he has no idea how to use it propah. tee hee. Ok, so my point is that there are men with small penises and great experience and well-endowed men with no skills - making them even on the scoreboard. What is the deal?? I have had crushes on men and watched them do things; play soccer, play guitar, etc and wished they were the same way in bed as they are when they are engrossed in their activity of choice, soccer, guitar. etc.

Lastly my site is garnering serious attention. My naughty little tangents about hooking up and single motherhood have caught the attention of people everywhere. Rachel, I am really hoping you get to publish that wild story about me and the pilot in LA. The "Bad Girl" story of single motherhood and one-night stands. Although he was more of a two-night-two-city night stand. I forgot to mention he didn't know who Whitesnake was, which in my hairband-crazed brain is just incomprehensible.

and here's a random picture of me....