Thursday, December 22, 2005

Let's take it way Medieval times!

I was just writing a friend an email and went on a major rant, I really liked it and thought I would share it all with you.

Here 'tis:

Women settle all the time out of fear of loneliness. For some reason it is drilled into our heads as little girls that there is something wrong with us if we are single. Seriously. It starts at all the middle school (6th through 8th grade) dances, all the popular girls had boyfriends - thus meaning they were not sitting down, by themselves listening to "crazy for you" AGAIN by Madonna. The rest of us got to sit there, unpopular (too tall!!) and watch, wishing the guys all sitting together on the other side of the room would come ask us to dance. I really wish women would stop this crazy train. The bridal industry would go out of business, divorce rates would go down. I say let's get back to the medieval roots where men had to slay huge dragons, ride horses and have a glorious reputation before a girls father would allow her to even walk with him somewhere. We women would end up happier if we enveloped the mantra of "wow me, woo me, impress me". Guys WANT to do this, it's instinctual for you men - the proverbial CHALLENGE. I have notoriously made it way to easy for a guy to "get me". "oh dont worry, I climbed down from the highest peak of the castle where I was locked away all by myself, then I built a bridge to cross the moat cause I figured you were tired from riding that horse here, and before I shimmied down the castle I made you lunch cause I knew you'd be hungry." That's how I have done things in the past. That is how I ended up married to a man who had no problem letting me handle all of our bills, our new baby - my own "tough guy" exterior got me there! NOW I aim for "yeah, I can climb down that castle, what chu got? Can you climb UP it?" I have to make a conscious effort to not make things easier. It's confusing at times and I worry that I may give a guy the wrong impression that I am not interested. But I will be damned if I make it ridiculously easy anymore. We shall see, like I said, a new path - new journey.


Anonymous said...

way to be!

tb said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Di? Di?
If you really found a guy completely willing to ride that horse across kingdoms, build that bridge, climb that tower, and then gasping for air ask you 'exactly how high did you want me to jump 'mam??' you'd push his pansy ass right back out that window.

I got nervous reading this that the pendulum has swung too far the other way. You're so much more evolved than some whiny, incapable, medieval chick. Don't get me wrong - he sure as hell should do his fair share to woo you. But your sassy, independent self (which is why I love ya!) wouldn't stand for someone kissing your ass for more than 10 minutes.

My past relationship I took that attitude and found a guy willing to put in the 75% while I put in the 25%. He was sweet and kind and brought flowers and did all the right things. And my god if it wasn't enough. I was only partially 'in' cause I knew it was all I needed to be. And while being partially in is safe and comfortable and all that - it leaves you empty and wanting.

Imho you're better off finding the middle ground? You better fight for him and give your whole heart. And, yes, you better expect him to do the same.

Anonymous said...

I love you tb!

Scarlett said...

I needed that today. thanks