Friday, July 29, 2005

Wonder Woman was also called Diana

Hey, not bad eh? What cha think about that one?! I even have a clock that reads "with eye blurring speed, Di changes into her secret identity of the famous Amazon..."

Aint that the truth! And let me just point out that I have been repressing my famous amazonness. Had I not, I would have ripped a particular dude's head off this past week, tied my truth-telling lasso around him and thwaped him on the head via my high-heeled red boots. Mister platonic friend-guy, mister "I just want to make sure you don't think I am a dog". Oh No sweetie not at all! How could I when you show up at 11 with your clothes for the next day, dump me and then suggest that we become friends with benefits??? All of this just after you ask me to tell you how I feel, where I bravely admit to liking you a lot. No you're not a dog, or a snake - both of which would be an improvement over your current state of narcissism. You're more like the geek from high school who thinks he's cool now, licking the bowl of attention to make sure you didn't miss any. After pondering your valiant efforts to ensure I wasn't mad at you I have drawn the following conclusion; you don't want to feel guilty about indulging yourself in a fling with me that was driven by your insecure ego. NOT MY PROBLEM DUDE! Take your pretty blue eyes and scram.

Ladies, if it walks like an ass, and talks like one it's probably an ASS.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Single motherhood screams serious commitment??????

Jesus. JESUS! I could scream I am so frustrated. Why do you men cease to HEAR my words and continue to draw conclusions off of the societal bullshit that surrounds single mothers?? I don't live in a trailer park, I am not living off of welfare or the random twenties my baby-daddy gives me fo diapers ya know. I don't need you. Let me refresh your memory on grizzly bears. If you happen to come across a female grizzly bear with cubs the odds that you might die in the next 1/2 hour are pretty high. Now, take that same instinctual protectiveness and apply it to me. What makes you think I wouldn't protect my son and be sure to only put him in front of a man who loves his mother, would never hurt him and would only make his life better by being in it? This is not something you learn after 3 dates dude. This is more like a couple years of time together.

(click here to see Grizzlies attack)

My dating life is plagued with an underground riptide of fear. You men think I want a serious relationship with you. That my tentacles will wrap around you and drag you into the abyss of obligation and guilt - NEVER TO RETURN. You have come right out and told me this yourselves. THANK YOU for the honesty.

1. You don't know me well enough to assume I want a serious relationship because I have "my son and all"
2. You aren't THAT great a guy to introduce to my amazing, happy child as someone he can get attached to. So get over yourself.
3. How much time do you think I have here?? Enough to actually BE in a serious relationship?

You guys should be more worried about getting along with ME, and if I am into you. Instead you hear "single mom" and start worrying about my clingyness and start imagining riding around in a mini van going to soccer practice or some shit. I don't even want to do that! I want to be seduced during my time-off from mommy duty, I want to escape the sadness of time without my son and forget about the bazillion things I have to take care of before my next business trip. An example would be a relaxing dinner and good conversation. There's a start! Oh yeah, and don't ask me about breastfeeding (see archives) during dinner.

In summary I am not a intentional commitmentphobe. Quite simply I would love to fall in love with someone who doesn't assume doing so would be a burden to him.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Ode to Chemistry

The big ol dating variable comes down to my dear friend mother nature. She gets to determine if I want to rip a guys clothes off or fumble around trying to explain my issue with dating shorter men. I am not good at or used to having chemistry with someone I dont actually get to date. If it exists I go for it. If it doesnt I dont go for it. None of this "let's be friends" and supress our instinctual-urges-to-mate stuff. I am learning though. This might have something to do with the "loves a challenge" part of my brain and therefore I have even bigger issues than I previously thought. My checklist of things a guy must have (OH shut up you all of them!!!) is long and flexible and I was under the impression that I just hadnt met the right combo yet. According to other handsome male-friends of mine I seek out men who arent available, and men who dont compete with me on a career level - then I get bored with them for the same reason. Huh. I wonder. Actually, I disagree. I tend to go on chemistry instead of common sense and have yet to learn how to be attracted to someone where chemistry is null and void. I have tried though. I know a few just-about-perfect guys out there, and OF COURSE I had no interest what-so-ever in seeing them naked. Mother nature be damned! frustrating! Why cant I just re-wire my brain??

I digress. So I am approaching the friends-first, chemistry-second tactic with wide open arms. I dont know what I am doing, though so if you are in this category and reading this please grab me and kiss me so I know what the fuck to do next. When do I put the moves on hot sexy friends? Am I giving them the wrong signal and they think I really want to be "just friends". This is so southern-belle of me cause I prefer to pepper my conversation with lude sexual comments and am constantly shouting out nonsense from the gutter. This is usually ok with friends I dont want to screw. BUT with friends I do want to screw it gets all complicated. I am much more agressive in nature than this. I see something I want, I go get it. Nuff said.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Feminists Unite! wow!

Wow, I posted this on the joint custody site - the subject was about involuntary joint custody. Which I have. I volunteered joint custody with my x so my son would be with both of us.
Here's what I wrote:

Ahh, how many of you are :1. divorced?2. getting divorced?3. parents?4. dealing with join custody yourself?
I highly encourage those who are not actually experiencing the pain of divorce and joint custody to remember just that. As a liberal feminist I cant believe some of the comments on this site - they HAVE to be from folks who dont have children, or an x-spouse or half a brain for that matter. Staying married “for the sake of the kids” is the worst idea ever. Children need to see how to resolve conflict and be given a chance to see their parents happy or at the very least happier. Joint custody may not be the greatest solution, but too many adults put their own needs, wishes, fears, ideals, morals, etc first instead of doing what is best for the children.
Having just gone through a mediated divorce in Georgia and determining a custody schedule with a very difficult x-husband, I found myself wishing that Georgia also had the Maryland “cooling off year”. What a progressive idea! SO much changes in the first year of divorce, custody is tough. So many emotions and a bonafide feeling of loss. It’s not natural to not know if your child is ok or where he or she is!
Custody is difficult no matter how much theory you apply to it. It is infuriating to receive advice on custody from arrogant non-parent experts. I think we should educate and furnish tools to parents on mediating parental differences and continue to offer support as the new custody arrangements begin and develop. As a parent I would love to have someone provide factual information to both my x and I so we can make the best decision for our son.

and someone gave me a shout out! woo hoo!
Rock Writes: July 6th, 2005 at 11:00 pm
The fact is that many men are totally irresponsible and do not support there children; custody or no. Often they are busy with the new family and pay little attention to the kids. It has been the burden of mothers to pick up the slack and do double duty for years as many dads are flakes with no conscience. (Sadly drugs are producing moms that are this way as well.)
Amp is right in that forcing someone into relationships does not make sense. If they are not compelled to care and cooperate and be responsible as they should be anyway, what is forcing them going to do but cause more resentment that generally gets taken out on the kids?
Hats off to Barbara, Lee, Flydi, you definitely have the upper hand in this discussion, I am purly impressed with your patience in the face of blatant ignorance. Blessings.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Joint Custody Rant

I came across this site:

all kinds of experts, with no children of course, giving advice on joint custody! the nerve!
Happy 4th!

Everybody Loves An American Girl, right?

And most American girls have loved everyone. ha ha haha.

I am sorry folks, I am trying not to give up hope with dating but it's not a lot of fun. Apparently I tend to date (and marry, ha ha) lazy bums and have become surprised when a guy offers to help or even better, just plain helps out without being asked! After a rainy 4th of July I am all coupled out. This past weekend was a whole lot of happy couples and not a lot of reality, ya know? I mean my brother and his happy family, my sister and her fabulous man, my best friend and her guy - all of them having a great time together, and then there was me and my son. MY SON took it upon himself to dig out a photo album and run around showing everyone pictures of his father and saying in his cute baby voice "Daydeeee. dadeee." Um hello?!! Even if you have a cold black heart that would make you feel bad for the little guy. I still feel like a piece of crap as I am the "plaintiff" who whisked his dad away. *sigh* poor kid.
Anyway. back to the couple stuff. Lots of talk about big foofie weddings and stellar examples of how a man should treat his future sister-in-law (that would be me). I mean my sister's man is a good guy. He wasn't afraid of the two year old even though he was on his worst behavior and SCREAMING all weekend, he fixed my bathroom, he cooked dinner and cleaned up the kitchen, he helped me carry stuff, he paid for gas, on and on and on.

I thanked him and even pointed out what a nice, helpful guy he is and how surprised I am by all the help. He replied with "Diane, I think you need to raise your standards."

I agree. but that would mean dating women.