Monday, November 19, 2007

Sudden loss of life

This friend of mine died suddenly on November 10th. I simply love this picture of her, and am still having a hard time believing she has passed away. I havent felt grief in this way before, I cant seem to purge it. Time heals all wounds, but this situation - a healthy vivacious 35 year old woman losing her life is a bit terrifying. I only hope I live my life full, that I dont cheat myself out of experiences and opportunity. Thank god she exemplified "live each day like it is your last". She was fearless, and confidently pursued her dreams and had opened her own salon recently. I was so proud of her!She possessed a magnetic personalty who embraced others without changing a drop of her fun, upbeat self.

Ironically, she cut my hair a week before she died. My hair cuts take 3-4 hours, and were a respite I looked forward to. I sit here asking myself, had I known that was the last time I would have with her would I have done anything different?

Not sure yet...

Monday, November 12, 2007

Big Bad Birthday in Boston

Some of us, whom shall remain nameless, had a birthday last week. This particular individual had never been to Beantown and fearlessly hired Delta to bring her there with me. So. We walk, everywhere, as required by these cities affectionately referred to as "a walking city". Us or THEM-there Atlantans dont know what this means really. They wear dressy boots and things and complain about the cold, etc.

I love this woman so dearly, and often times she says "If I were a man we'd be a couple". I get this a lot from my girlfriends. But this one in particular feels like she saved my life. My inner-life, that fire, the one that creates witty posts for everyone to read. Her phone will ring at all hours of the night with either a half-crazed friend calling about a great date she just went on or a weepy puddle who has just dropped off her child on the infamous "wednesday". Whereby her heart is rendered useless in an instant as she (me) walks away from the warmth of that little whirling dervish. This friend always has the perfect thing to say, the perfect response to my blubbering and self pity. "Yes, yes you ARE indeed dysfunctional. But, I LOVE ya!" She single-handedly changed my opinion of single motherhood. That lonely place I was too numb to acknowledge has become a pillar of my identity.

Her happiness has become somewhat of a mission of mine. I might have overdone it in Boston too as she doesnt recognize the pictures I took of her at The Canal in Boston (too many shots I suppose). I mean, they were taken just before last call, who remembers what they were doing then most of the time? The next day she suffered through a history lesson by my father on the Revolutionary War and a detailed narrative of random gravesites of British soldiers. He drove all over, stomping on the breaks to make sure she saw all of the amazing history Paul Revere is known for, including where he was arrested. You get the picture. "Look, more British soldiers!" my stepmother would say - and she would dutifully look and say "wow, that's great."

I wish I could give her that Snow White-like mirror that tells her she is the farest of them all. She is stunning and laughs at herself, with everyone and for no reason at all. Her sense of humor could put anyone to shame, but her humbleness touches everyone who knows her.

May you always eat pizza with a cape on JH!
Happy Birthday,

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sage Advice

Mi Padre screwed my head on with a stellar statement this evening. We were waiting for our reservation at the Wayside Inn, which, by the way can single-handedly render you unconscious due to ingesting too much good food. After a tour of their grist mill I strapped on the feed bag and had at it as though I, myself, had marched like the British Redcoats from Boston to Lexington overnight.
He sat next to me in a historically creaky old chair and said "How can you drive straight down the road to your future if you are constantly looking in the rear view mirror?"