Wednesday, January 24, 2007 Part Deux

Here is a medley of emails I have received, identities of course protected, for you all to read and enjoy. I am amused by some - horrified by others. Overall I enjoy these emails and I thought it might help some of the guys out there to see what kind of emails get a response and which ones dont.

so here goes!

From a friend who wrongfully assumed my meeting a firefighter in a bar meant that I slept with him:

"should have you charged !...with contributing to the delinquency and emotional immaturity (and ths perpetuating the whole gawd damn hero mentality)of an intellectal and maturity minor !!!!!!!! :(a FIREMAN!!! how could you Di ? :(no mater the fact that WE know you've used HIM, he willthink...and in short time gladly pass on to his testosterone-fueled bretheren, that he 'scored' with you:(Oh, the horror !you've CRUSHED me :(:(:(........................ (tears)couldn' t you have perhaps, found an eager Paramedic or computer geek that would so much more have appreciated a few divine moments with a goddess?\i'm a broken man...... oh, and it's not 'over' as ofyet....just finished having to 'babysit' her/daughter, after a particualry awful (and icky) bought of the stomach flu...oh, how i LOVE the power ofGUILT my deear Diane !!!!!!in case i miss you..have a FANTASTIC NEW YEARS EVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...and no more hoseheads!

Dont know this guy at all:
"Hello There!!!are you from the UK?

In response to my comment about loving a man with tools:
"something witty...Back roads... yes I agree. I have a feeling that you've read Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. As far as tools go... I can fix anything... wha'cha got, let me at it... lol...Just wanted to say hello... happy New Year"

"hey, will you email me?? I am interested in you! Your profile is so cool. Actually my brother is living in Boston for now. I am conservative politically, but your liberal views don't scare me away, actually it may be a breath of fresh air. My picture is going to be on anytime so i promise I am normal and not some wierd guy who does not want to post a pic or anything. I hope you write back, and I am a builder, not a carpenter; however, I do have some tools!! ha ha"

General Emails received:
"Where do I sign? much to say...must impress you....what exactly is a wicked pisser? Ok, you are stunning--just had to get that out first. I really like you from the little you have shared (with the world).How about this...I am tongue tied because I am enjoying reading about you so much, laughing that you'd go to dinner without makeup (you don't need any!).How old is your son? It's funny that I find myself increasingly attracted to single mothers. I've known for a long time that making babies of my own is not a priority (6.5 billion little miracles are enough), but I irresistably love children and nurturing and so maybe it will work out that I get together with a goddess that has already brought forth a couple precious new souls, and then I give all the help I can.Lets go exploring sometime. Have you ever been to the quarry in Bankhead? There are eagles...or at least hawks. Sweetwater Creek is brilliant as well.Forgive my rushing ahead: I love you. Happy New Year! I wish you the best of life, love and luck for 2007.Oh, here's a humor compatibility test: How many gerbils does it take to screw in a light bulb?Peace,"

"I'm willing.....
to get that leg lengthening operation (or stuff card board in my shoes) to make height......or maybe I just need more cow bell."

"Hi Celtic Girl........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi.....I'm politically conservative and socially liberal, but, we would do OK, because, I really do appreciate everyone's opinion...Is'nt that what makes the USA GREAT !....,I'm not afraid to go out without makeup either !.....I like traveling, but dont enjoy doing it for business anymore (Security lines are too long)and outside, not in the ATL in the summer.......And, your dog would love me,they always do.....Do'nt ever trust anybody that your dog does'nt (seriously)...I'm going bck to bed, it's only like 6:40AM....Bye..."

"hello angel
Hello dear, How are you ? i will say you are really pretty, you are like an angel. I am really amazed. I am Godfrey, am 42yrs old,i work with an advertising company.I am currently a single. i would really love to say much about me,but when i am being asked. Dear, i want to know you much more better, maybe to get to reach GOD more easily. knowing an angel is like knowing the personal asistant of GOD. Please endeavour to send me a reply,you can add me to your yahoo IM my id is (xxxgodfrey4love) while my email address is i will love to chat with you on yahoo chat so we can get to know more about our self, I will be greatly honoured by it. I wait with curiousity to hear from you. Till then. Have a loving day. and may your best of yesterday,be your worst today.i strongly belive that Love is the shortest distance between hearts,when the heartbeat for each other.when we open our heart to one another.we can feel the emotions.and Distance does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another.i know that Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.stay cool.Godfrey

Monday, January 15, 2007

I am not a player....sort of

Not a Player, But You Dabble In the Game.

Sometimes a girl just wants to have fun- and when it's fun you're after, you get it.
But when you want a relationship, you seem to score that as well.
What you want changes from day to day? and from guy to guy.
Luckily, you've got the skills to get whatever you want - and pass the leftovers on to your friends.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Thirsty Scholar Pub

I used to live above this pub in Somerville Massachusetts. It was like a sitcom, seriously. My best friends lived in the apartment above me, and I lived with a hilarious Cuban copywriter and we all pretty much spent most of our evenings in this pub. Very London-esque of me. Parties such as "Easter Eggs & Margaritas" were hosted upstairs and the group of tramps formerly known as the All Girls Kazoo Band would reconvene the next morning for brunch at this pub. This was to make sure we were all alive and to get the dirt on the poor young man someone had "deflowered".

I lived there during the 2002 world cup - and let me tell ya, that was the place to be! at 7Am I could hear folks cheering and screaming through my floor. Excellent. Now that is the apartment to have! Often times we would wander down the street and buy a large cheese pizza for $5 bucks at Dial-a-Pizza, eat half of it and then sell the other pieces to drunks stumbling out of the bar for $2 bucks. In the end, we'd get paid to eat our own pizza if you do the math.

I love that place. Go eat there if you are in Somerville, it's fantastic.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Man/Men Update

Hey now! I have two irons in the fire (interesting visual comes to mind as I type this) currently. If I had to write down everything I am looking for in man, this guy would be it - but he's older, like 14 years older. But I am being open-minded and trying not to rule out men for no real reason. We had a very nice date last week, where I even asked for advice on dealing with my sons tempertantrums. He flat out wouldnt offer any advice unless I directly asked him for it - KUDOS for that one. And continued to point out how I was rewarding him for acting poorly. My attempt to give him a train, cookie, kiss, movie was encouraging his behavior. He's not dumb. I dont get to charm him as he sees right through it - and even explained how much he enjoyed talking with me once I was no longer "on". The odd part is his complete unwillingness to share his "rock star" side, as I call it. Now he plays the guitar and sings, he even had gigs all over the city. But mum is the word. He explained that he is tired of women falling for that side of him and not getting to know him, as a person. Understandable - yet odd. Dont most men strive to find that one thing that lures the ladies in? Wouldnt most men dream of being able to shred a guitar and make women's nipples hard over it? I offered up the following analogy: "So that's the equivilant of me wearing sweatpants and no makeup to our first date cause I dont want you to just like me for my pretty face". He laughed. I still dont know much about the music thing. In the middle of our date, all 6'4 of him said "Oh I could so pick you up" I described being an amazon and feeling like I could carry most of the men I date out of the burning building. If that man does in fact pick me up, I will get a picture and post it - I havent been picked up in 20 years. Ever since I hit 5'9 that "dream" ended.

NExt up is my Italian Scorpio. Damn this man is hot. A former massage therapist (oh now that doesnt suck) with beautiful hands, from the Bronx. Booyah! He swears and says "fahgetaboutit" and doesnt realize the humor in doing so. We had a nice long date on Sunday, full of dating stories and erotic glances over candlelight. He's very spiritual and into art, classical music, astrology, energy, etc. BUT he could kick my ass and everyone elses ass due to the simple fact he's a highly trained MMA fighter. That means "Mixed Martial Arts" which also means "I have rock hard abs and can tie you in a pretzel while slapping you across the face" or "I can pin you down and do naughty things to you..." for those of us who think that way. ;)

Here's the "ball of hair" (go see Fever Pitch if you dont get that reference)...he could be my x's twin. Seriously, there is such a striking physical resemblance between the two it's uncanny. I am tempted to post pictures of them, but I think that's illegal.

So - I am seeing both this week. Not bad for dusting myself off and moving on I say.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Happy New Year: 2007's Gonna be a bitch!

That's right, I said that. Women are taking over and life will surely get better for us mere mortals in 07 as in the news today I discovered we will have our fist FEMALE house of representatives. Bring on the stem cell research! Enough of this useless war, time for ALL of us to get our heads on straight and move on from the political-egg-on-our-face syndrome of the past 6 years.

I am so excited about today's here to read it.

Here's my one New Years pic - taken at 11:56 on new years eve. Aside from looking like I am falling over - I think I look happy. That's good enough for me! Happy New Year! Aside from typical new year's resolutions I plan to make this one count. I typically accomplish my new years goals and havent truly decided on my goal for 07. It's some semblance of save money, date nice men, kick ass at work, take my son to see interesting things - but I want more than that. I want this year to be the year I really wow myself. So, with that said I should get crackin' on my Survivor application!