Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Been awhile....

I dont know why I stopped writing in my blog. I stopped reading it, telling everyone about it, just, plain, stopped.

It's late, and I am thinking about my son, who has become this little man now. He chats with me on the phone, asks me how my day was and loves to practice writing letters and spelling. This all brings back memories, this blog of mine, of when I was new to juggling mommyhood alone. Now its easy. Now I know what I am doing! Now he gets up on his own, gets dressed on his own, feeds himself, turns on the tv....

He always wears his shoes on the wrong feet. He puts his "clotheses" on backwards, and it just cracks me up. The vocab gets better and better growing from "hers tired mommy" to "she is tired mommy". His spiderman addiction is still going strong, he wants to be a police man AND an astronaut. He loves to draw, paint, read and create. Sports....not so much. I enrolled him in t-ball and soccer only to spend the majority of the game prying him off my leg while he screamed. So we will stick to art!

He calls fruit punch, "juice pump". Not sure why but maybe its a variation of "juice box" and fruit "punch"? The best one was when I had raced my matchbox car so fast I won, whereby he declared I won a "pissing cup" with so much enthusiasm I had to sit down! What on earth is a pissing cup?! Well, a YEAR LATER I watched Cars, and learned of the PISTON CUP. Very similar.

He believes there is a turbo button in my car that gets us home faster, just like I believed when I was little girl. My dad would puff out his cheeks and blow air through his lips making a raspberry sound as he flipped open the cigarette lighter. It was a very impressive display for a turbo button on a Dodge Caravan.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

In pursuit of 2008

If only 2008 would hurry up I might maintain the optimism one needs to endure another round of the holidays. It simply doesn't matter how many plans I make, they rip open a scab and exasperate the loneliness joint custody creates. Regardless, they always pass and then the new year begins. I am going to make a nice dinner full of red things and tangerines for my friends on February 7th, to celebrate the 2008 Chinese New Year. This holiday is less about what you buy someone and more about the luck you give to them. I prefer that.

Today I noticed that I post daily affirmations all over my life, on my desk at work, on my fridge, on my blackberry. I added "what are you waiting for?" this month. Good question. People dont often see that they are the reason they are unhappy. Stop waiting for others to swoop down and call in the Red Cross for you. Others I enjoy are "Diamonds are only lumps of coals that really stuck to their jobs" and "life is what happens while everyone else complains about it" or something like that! This spurred some new years resolutions that rhyme:

"Make it GREAT in 08"
"No more real estate in 08"
"Dont hesitate in 2008"
"why wait in 08"
and my favorite "Feelin' great in 08"

ok I know overkill, but funny. Resolutions should be simple, so you can remember them. I have others but sharing them with the world wide web seems wrong and I believe I need all the help I can get. 2007's was to "simplify" which was a bust. I've managed to step on that one as I drive or fly hither and dither to accommodate a new school, new job and new clients. Where did resolutions come from anyway?? Who's idea was this? And what on earth is with the weight loss craze?

I will incorporate margaritas, meditation (serenity now!) and patience into my resolution. That's all i got right now.

Happy Holidays!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Sudden loss of life

This friend of mine died suddenly on November 10th. I simply love this picture of her, and am still having a hard time believing she has passed away. I havent felt grief in this way before, I cant seem to purge it. Time heals all wounds, but this situation - a healthy vivacious 35 year old woman losing her life is a bit terrifying. I only hope I live my life full, that I dont cheat myself out of experiences and opportunity. Thank god she exemplified "live each day like it is your last". She was fearless, and confidently pursued her dreams and had opened her own salon recently. I was so proud of her!She possessed a magnetic personalty who embraced others without changing a drop of her fun, upbeat self.

Ironically, she cut my hair a week before she died. My hair cuts take 3-4 hours, and were a respite I looked forward to. I sit here asking myself, had I known that was the last time I would have with her would I have done anything different?

Not sure yet...

Monday, November 12, 2007

Big Bad Birthday in Boston

Some of us, whom shall remain nameless, had a birthday last week. This particular individual had never been to Beantown and fearlessly hired Delta to bring her there with me. So. We walk, everywhere, as required by these cities affectionately referred to as "a walking city". Us or THEM-there Atlantans dont know what this means really. They wear dressy boots and things and complain about the cold, etc.

I love this woman so dearly, and often times she says "If I were a man we'd be a couple". I get this a lot from my girlfriends. But this one in particular feels like she saved my life. My inner-life, that fire, the one that creates witty posts for everyone to read. Her phone will ring at all hours of the night with either a half-crazed friend calling about a great date she just went on or a weepy puddle who has just dropped off her child on the infamous "wednesday". Whereby her heart is rendered useless in an instant as she (me) walks away from the warmth of that little whirling dervish. This friend always has the perfect thing to say, the perfect response to my blubbering and self pity. "Yes, yes you ARE indeed dysfunctional. But, I LOVE ya!" She single-handedly changed my opinion of single motherhood. That lonely place I was too numb to acknowledge has become a pillar of my identity.

Her happiness has become somewhat of a mission of mine. I might have overdone it in Boston too as she doesnt recognize the pictures I took of her at The Canal in Boston (too many shots I suppose). I mean, they were taken just before last call, who remembers what they were doing then most of the time? The next day she suffered through a history lesson by my father on the Revolutionary War and a detailed narrative of random gravesites of British soldiers. He drove all over, stomping on the breaks to make sure she saw all of the amazing history Paul Revere is known for, including where he was arrested. You get the picture. "Look, more British soldiers!" my stepmother would say - and she would dutifully look and say "wow, that's great."

I wish I could give her that Snow White-like mirror that tells her she is the farest of them all. She is stunning and laughs at herself, with everyone and for no reason at all. Her sense of humor could put anyone to shame, but her humbleness touches everyone who knows her.

May you always eat pizza with a cape on JH!
Happy Birthday,

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sage Advice

Mi Padre screwed my head on with a stellar statement this evening. We were waiting for our reservation at the Wayside Inn, which, by the way can single-handedly render you unconscious due to ingesting too much good food. After a tour of their grist mill I strapped on the feed bag and had at it as though I, myself, had marched like the British Redcoats from Boston to Lexington overnight.
He sat next to me in a historically creaky old chair and said "How can you drive straight down the road to your future if you are constantly looking in the rear view mirror?"

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Fettucini anyone?

I brought home my side of fettuccine alfredo from Maggiano's one day, as I knew my son would love it. He could eat it - and back then he would sit in his high chair in the kitchen while I would try to find something that he would eat. I was so proud of him when I noticed all the noodles were gone from his tray! He was EATING! Eureka!


My dog strolled by sniffing the floor for the bits he inevitably through on the floor, covered in fettuccine. He had been throwing the noodles on HER as she walked by! Hilarious.

October, three years later

This picture was taken three years ago! Let me just say that he dug that carrot out of the fridge himself, to naw on it with his three teeth. He just couldnt resist showing me his "find" and by the look on his face he knows how proud of him I am.