Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Thirty Wonderful

My birthday came along recently. Nothing too crazy, just a Pimps N Ho's party. Well the party was for my best friend who turned 30 the day before me. Looking back, I am amazed at how easy it was for me to parade around in zebra-print-garter-dress-ensemble. More shocking than that was how my other friends embraced the "Ho" appearance. They donned fishnets, pig tails, whips, gold lame, pleather. Oh baby! Divorce seems to be the best thing that ever happened to one of them! I am enjoying watching her discover herself and coaching her through dating. She maintains an acute adorableness about her as she tromps off with some pimp she just met. Good for her!

Earlier that day I was over at "the f-ing house" paying the painter as he had completed the interior work I had hired him to do. He says:

"Ah, miss Diane? I ask question? u no get mad?"

uh oh, I think to myself but ask him to go ahead.

"are you lesbian?"

Now. He was an hour early. We agreed on 10am, he called at 9:05 to ask where I was. So, I rolled out of bed and hopped in the car. I dont get dressed up to pay contractors. Sorry.
He continues:

"you tall, beautiful woman with job. where is your husband? your man?"

my response: "he's sleeping." Oh dont even get me started. I KNOW I dont need to write how insulting it is that a man thinks I am a lesbian simply because there is no man PRESENT at the very moment. I realize he was complementing me in some way, but c'mon!

1 comment:

littlemissmustachio said...

That is the funniest thing I've read in awhile! Omg, asking if you're a lesbian b/c of lack of man. What a jackass! But so horribly true that that is people's perception of a strong, successful female over 25. Lesbian or straight at least we're showing the world women *gasp* CAN live and breathe without a marriage certificate.