After receiving a slew of emails from men on match.com who are so completely not my type I decided to write a new profile. If these men actually read my profile they would NEVER have emailed me. I am not religious, I am not looking to "join someone in prayer" every day. I didn't vote for Bush, I cried when he won again. I love my gay neighbors and friends. It's obvious why some men are on match.com, others it takes meeting them in person to fully understand their definition of tall versus mine.
I didn't post this on match.com, instead I sent it to my friends who are also on match.com to get their feedback. They all dared me to do it. This is the next best thing.
"Tall, yeah TALL – like taller than you blonde looking for a man. I thought some of you might consider yourself to be one, and one that is interested in communicating. I don’t need you, nor does my son – who by the way already has a dad, but it would be nice to have an intellectually stimulating dinner where Jesus is not brought up once, unless of course you are so funny that it just falls out of my mouth. You better have a job, a sense of humor and a clue when it comes to telling me about ALL the other women you’ve met, dated and slept with off of match.com. I am not a bionic woman who does nothing but work out in her free time. I am a single stressed out mom who can not meet you last minute. Got it?
Time wasters need not apply. Don’t ask me why I am divorced if you don’t really want to know. I am a man eater – so be careful. Just because I am on match.com does not mean I am desperate, nor stupid.
Lastly, I believe in astrology more than love and marriage. So far the astrology has been more accurate at predicting my success with you freaks.”
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