what to say during an interview

I just spent 10 hours straight interviewing candidates in LA. I am still here in sunny Los Annngellllleeees and must say this time around my trip here has been much more enjoyable. Remind me to tell you why 2000 was horrendous. No vomiting at the Polo Lounge, no vomiting in Beverly Hills with a Greek limo driver rubbing my back couching me through it with "in dru da noce Diana, out sru da moud", No LAX strandings. No Tommy Lee Jones.

Ok. So an over-qualified ass-kicking female shows up for her interview and tells me the following story:
"I was searching for a pen in my purse during this important interview, and .....as I pulled out the pen a TAMPON went flying out of my purse and landed on the conference room table. The interviewer (being male - which in my mind makes the story THAT MUCH BETTER) just stared at it as it slowly rolled down the table and quietly off the side and onto the floor. Needless to say that interview was over."

How do you compete with a TAMPON? I don't care how smooth you are. How. HOW do you deal with that?? A woman interviewer would totally understand how hilarious that was and it would be no big deal after some laughing. The fact that the interviewer was male kills me! Makes me want to try it out on someone just for effect.

I have finally started introducing my blog to some friends of mine. I even tip-toed out onto a limb and sent it to my uber-talented copywriter friend. She thinks it's cool, that I should write a book and has bookmarked this little blog-wanna-bee. I am in shock as I suck at writing, couldn't tell you the proper use of sentence structure or even what a subjective verb is. Do you know what this little compliment has done for my self esteem?? Now I will write about everything! I promise to make it interesting.

Now, back to da boys.
I recently received an email from a handsome young man I went on 2 big awesome dates with. Perhaps he wrote out of guilt for basically blowing me off via EMAIL for 2 months. Here is what he ACTUALLY wrote:

"And your menu of options sounds tasty. Only thing is, I started seeing someone recently and I want to see where things might "go," as they say. But don't worry, I haven't turned totally faggy or anything (that's the bestest non-PC way I could think of saying it). I mean, I'm not locking myself to the whippin' post anytime soon, so . . . maybe we can get together a little later on(?)
And btw, what're you up to these days?
Talk to you later,"

PLAYAH. In the beginning of the paragraph he breaks it to me that he is not interested in going out with me again because he is seeing someone. The end of the paragraph he invites me to join his fucking fan club and wait for him to call me like I did with Sebastian Bach of Skid Row in 1989!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!www.sebastianbach.com. Well Sebastian never called me. So I wrote back something to the order of "a little later on? I'll just be sitting here holding my breath." I also randomly included a link to snoop dogs shizzolator www.asksnoop.com for no reason. Tee hee!!