Thursday, April 14, 2005

Any non-boyfriends out there????

Ok, after a lot of flack for this post I am now posting a "forward". So here goes.

Attention, the following post is nonsense. This post was written after someone professed their love for the author after a couple of dates. In no way do the words written below represent how the authors feels currently. The words expressed below are in fact written by the author, however she would like all future boyfriends to know that anyone qualifying for "non-boyfriend" status will be thrown back.


Why cant I find a guy who just wants to go on a couple of dates every now and then and maybe end up in my bed for a little while? I mean, I am basically interested in a committment-free relationship right now and CANT FIND ONE. It's a little more complicated than this of course. Me being me I want him to be good enough to introduce to my friends and have them say "what's wrong with you?! why wont you commit to him". Ahhhh...music to my ears.

Dudes, c'mon I am a single mom with a little bit of free time - let's just get to the point ok? I dont want to lay in bed all day and gaze into someone's eyes and dream of more babies. I gotta get up and take care of a bunch of shit that I cant do when the little guy is around!

Where did all the handsome committmentphobes go? I used to know tons of them. In fact my radar always picked them up (see my post about guys in Boston) and I would run the other way. What happened here? My therapist encourages me to forget dating and spend time reconnecting to me. Which I find a little boring but I understand what he means. Hence why I am campaigning for a non-boyfriend. Non boyfriends are so good that you want them to be your boyfriend just not in reality. They seem to show up on your caller ID at just the right time. They miss you. They are fun, they are good in bed. They are BUSY. Doing what? I dont know, but my point is that they have a life that doesnt revolve around hunting down a wife.

What the fuck is my point here? No wonder I cant seem to go on dates. I annoy myself.


As soon as I go on a date I will post it ok? I promise.

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