I found Rachel Sara last night: http://www.literarymama.com/columns/goingitalone/
She describes feelings I have felt about being a dating single mom, the "bad girl" side in particular. A side of myself I thoroughly enjoy but curse equally as much.
Here is a snippet for you all:
"This bad girl hasn't been out in a long time. That's what I call her -- "the bad girl" -- even though she's not exactly bad. She's this desperate part of me that wants too badly to feel strong. She makes her most dramatic appearances when I'm feeling out of control, and the only way to calm her is to seek a man and wander into dangerous territory with him. Briefly, when she's in his arms -- in another circumstance, it could almost be mistaken for love -- she's safe and powerful. She can lean over the edge of a cliff, and she knows she will not fall."
Thank you Rachel Sara, that about sums it up.
I also came across the best poem on her site., "Perspective, by Deanna Jones".
It describes my 2 year old son perfectly.
I will now go clean up after my tornado two year old.