Friday, November 25, 2005

Wedding Day......the real story

November 25th was the day I officially lost my mind. Yes, I left all common sense behind me, or threw out by accident like I do with my keys - the 25th is a very important date for me to remember. I got married at sunset on at Fort Zachary Taylor Park in Key West. It was such a perfect day, really it was an almost perfect wedding - just the wrong guy. It didn't occur to me until around 11pm tonight that it was my anniversary, or that it WAS my anniversary. My x used to look forward to this exact date where I cringed and loathed it. I reacted in anger and frustration, finding it hard to motivate myself to buy him something to show how happy I was. As I type this I am reminded by advice I give so many others yet refuse to apply to my own life. It goes something like this "love is not measured in what you buy each other, the man of your dreams should be able to pick out a $1 dollar trinket at a thrift store and you will love it." Huh. Not my x-husband. He actually asked me for a G5 for Christmas one year as we struggled to pay our mortgage. November 25th reminds me of how foolish I was and serves as a reminder (not like my son doesn't already!) to slow down. I was so swept up in the moment with him, and was motivated out of my fear of loneliness more than anything. I cant forget to tell you all about Dan, the justice of the peace who married us. He's also a real estate agent and arrived at the beach on a moped with a big cooler bungie-corded to the back; "for flowers and cakes and wedding stuff" he explained.

Now, what's really ironic and funny is that as I get married a huge sailboat called the Liberty Clipper sailed by just as I was supposed to say "I do". I was previously engaged to a big Lithuanian carpenter and was planning a wedding on that VERY boat. The Liberty Clipper spends May - October in Boston and November through May in Key West. Anyway, as the boat sailed by all of the passengers started clapping and cheering for us as we stood on the beach. I couldn't believe it. Still don't.

More than anything I just wanted to remind myself, tonight, that November 25th should be a day I stop and think about what's best for ME.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

True, but you looked gorgeous in your $10 wedding dress. Another reason to cringe at Nov 25th -- Kathleen's birthday. We're all allowed a number of mistakes in life. Fortunately the good Lord just doesn't tell us how many.

And then there is the dream that is Wallace . . .

Love u Belinda