How is it you are doing as well as you are??

Someone said that to me today just after I told him about my psychic Aunt. This guy is a co-worker and gets the privilege of listening to all of my stories about the variety of characters that make up my family. Top 2 are definitely my mom and my psychic Aunt. My Aunt has been on the Discovery channel, Unsolved Mysteries, TLC, etc for her psychic detective work. It's a little out there but hey - if she is solving crimes why not?

My mother on the other hand, has taken it upon herself to lob comments at me that will either fluster me, embarrass me or cause those we are with to think "holy shit, did she actually say that out loud?". I am not sure why this happening but I am thankful that those that care for me don't take her comments too personally. After all most people are used to being asked if they have a criminal record and massive amounts of debt right? right? no? During the same conversation my former fiance' was brought up AS WELL AS my x-husband, all to rattle my latest hunk, I am sure. She had it out for him. He rolled with it - but really now! Why would you ask me about "the beautiful watch your x fiance gave you, do you still have that?" during dinner? She knew the answer to this - I am clearly wearing it on my wrist. This is very similar to pulling the pin out of a grenade with your teeth and lobbing it into your neighbors pool party. Prior to this I was complimented in a very old-fashioned and rather romantic way by the aforementioned hunk: "Diane is one of the most amazing women I have ever met" he says. Her response? Are you even ready for it?? "Oh, you are not the only man to ever say that to her, trust me."

GASP! WHAT???!!! I mean that could be a compliment whereby lots of men think I am amazing - that was not the angle she was taking. Trust me. How had my very own mother become the wingman to my x's?? oy vey!

So, back to my subject of "How is it you are doing as well as you are?". Am I? One could ration that I am not doing that well afterall. In fact I have some serious catching up to do. My Aunt is an INTERNATIONAL PSYCHIC DETECTIVE, what am I????! For a week now I have pondered posting things about my own mother. I felt guilty about it until I realized writing and publishing it might just keep her from doing it again! AH HA! I am onto something here! Now if I could take the dinner event mentioned above and toss in some jello shots and pushup contests I would have a family event a little more like this guy: Bad News Hughes.

more to come......