Breaking up and Opening Up

How do you let a man "in" when all that you have known has been painful? Do you continue to hope it wont hurt this time? How does that quote go again, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"....

I feel that way as I type this. John Hiatt seems to have a way to get in there to my heart and the words are pouring from my fingers. His "Have a Little Faith In Me" has always been a top five favorite for me. His lyrics are so beautiful. So hopefully *someone* will step up and love me like this.

When the road gets dark, And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark, And have a little faith in me
And when the tears you cry, Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me
And Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
When your secret heart, Cannot speak so easily, Come here darlin
From a whisper start, To have a little faith in me
And when your backs against the wall, Just turn around and you will see
I will catch, I will catch your fall baby
Just have a little faith in me
Chorus (Sung over fade)
Well, Ive been loving you for such a long time girl
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
cause for us there is no end
And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me
I said I will hold you up, I will hold you up
Your love gives me strength enough
So have a little faith in me

I have spent enough time sitting on sofas talking about my feelings and playing with a mini-zen garden - all of which seems to have a numbing effect on my overactive brain, to take up 6 months non-stop. How can I stop this train and end up with something deep and meaningful that doesnt suck the life out of me? I want to be loved for who I am, not what I can do for someone. Yeah yeah, I can hear it now - "oh poor baby, the tall blonde doesnt feel loved". I KNOW! How pathetic right?

From a romance standpoint - why does it seem to be so hit or miss? It's REALLY not that hard to do. Women love it, always. We always want to be the one who gets the flowers. Our gaze following the receptionist as she delivers the bouqet to the lucky "winner". Trust me, this happens. Flowers arrive at work and have yet to be delivered, all of the women wonder "could they be for me?". Trust me on this one guys - send flowers and dont put who it's from and see what happens.

Flydi