Thursday, January 12, 2006

Attack of the Southern Belles!

Drama! A southern belle has raised her Mary Kay spackled head and tried to attack! Of course, she is incognito and too afraid to leave her email address or her own blog link for me to respond to her pathetic attempt at “reprimanding” my evil ways. All she has done has further confirmed my opinion of “Sweet Southern Belles”, You’re FAKE. How can you be so sweet and caring, a self-appointed-motherhood-expert who hasn’t walked a mile ever – let alone in others shoes, and leave such a mean comment on a complete strangers blog? I bet you would even say “Bless your heart, you don’t even realize how much of a bitch I am” to me in person!

I fed her to the wolf pack this morning. My email has been buzzing away with responses and I just had to share with EVERYONE (that’s over 200 visitors per day) what went down with this loser from Florida.

Here’s what started it all:

SweetSouthernBelle writes:
Let me start off by saying .. I am a Southern Belle my mothere is from NC and my Father is from BOSTON .. and I can say with all honesty that my heart lies in the south .. I have spent time in both places .. and the south is a much friendlier kinder place to be. I have also noticed a trend with Women from the North that their priorities are a bit skewed.. Women such as yourself put themselves before their family and their children..Your carreer means more to you than your child .. Your "ME" time is more important to you than the time you could be spending with your child..sadly enough I have read your blog and was very unimpressed with the person you are ..It is not enough to just keep a human being "alive" you must have compassion and love and be able to ineract with that child on their level . It is not about knowing when they are going to fall or get hurt it is about being able to comfort that child when they do get hurt and have the gentleness that all mothers should have .. That touch that makes everything in the world right in that childs world. You are exactly what I would expect from a woman that was raised in Boston .. Please do not take that as a compliment because it is not intended as one ..I have read your entire blog and the only person you truly are concerned about is YOURSELF... Maybe if you were a better woman you wouldn't be divorced or maybe you could find yourself a nice well educated man.. As for myself I am a well educated Southern belle that puts my family ahead of everything else. So grow up and learn what is truly important in life .. Stop with all the "poor me's"and stop throwing yourself all the pitty parties you induldge yourself with .. and start being a REAL WOMAN and a REAL Mother! ! ! ! !

And here are the responses! Woo hoo!!

1. I think by 'Sweet Southern Belle' she really meant 'Stupid Southern Bitch'.
Clearly she has some issues if she has to lash out at strangers online!
And by writing a message like this she's only driving the entire point of your blog home.
Keep doing what you're doing. This woman will never be truly happy.

2. Holy crap, what a beaytch. Let's Google-bomb her.

3. Don't southern belles know that if you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY
ANYTHING AT ALL?? A real care giver knows how to care for a family AND herself. This
lady is going to snap one day, trust me.

4. She needs to get laid.

5. What a bitch! I hope you put her in her place! She's probably at home, thumping her bible, praying for your soul and praying that you become a better mother! LOL LOL LOL LOL

6. Seriously, let me at her! I am appalled!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a freakin' beeeeatch! Yeah, she is just full of southern freaking charm. Puuullllllllllleeeasse!!!!!!!
Please, please tell me you won't take a single thing she said seriously. This woman has about as much individualism as a freaking lemming.
You're a wonderful mother and person. You grow stronger, smarter, deeper, wiser, and more beautiful every time I talk to you. You're open and honest and you put it out there. You care more about your son that anything. And you are still an individual. That is what gets me. Just because you have a child doesn't mean you have to be less of yourself. Your heart and mind did not shrink in order to make room for this child - they grew bigger. Too many people have children and a family as an excuse to stop being an individual.
Those who can't lead follow. Those who can't be a 21st century woman become her. They put their husband and their children and the rest of their family first because they have to. They can't think for themselves. It's easier that way. Individual thought takes time. It takes practice. And confidence. It is the essence of being human. Always making sure everyone else is happy isn't harder - it's easier. Never worrying about yourself - it's a cop out of your own life. Well, ya know what, southern belle, you're not yourself. You're no one. You're nothing. You're just some photoshopped face pasted into a family portrait. You don't have a personality. You are another faceless, SUV driving, Starbucks toting, manicured, dolled up, Kate Spade carrying, generic stepford wife whose life is on auto-pilot.
Trust me, Flydi is a more of a human being than you can ever hope to be. Now stop reading this blog and go back to your damn Nicholas Sparks novel.

6. Let me start off by saying that sweetsouthernbelle1215 should know about what she speaks before she pontificates or spews such ugliness. I know this "blogger" you speak of and I know her well. That you dog her makes me insanely upset. I see her every week with her child and know that nothing and no one is more important to her than this child. Having said that, she is an adult who has and will continue to provide for herself emotionally instead of placing that burden on her children as would appear you do. Your children have the potential to grow up with the inflated sense of self due to you making them the center of your universe. Take responsibility for your own emotional state and show your children by example as this "blogger" does every day. Do not burden your children with your "family first" crap attitude. We all have our family's needs first so don't go thinking you're something special with that directive or that you wrote the book on that topic. Because you choose to place your children's needs above your own needs gives them the sense that they are more important than others, that their needs will and must be met first before considering anyone elses. It will be our good- natured, well behavied, kind and caring chldren who will bail this country out of the financial and social ruins your children will leave it in and we will have people like you to thank for raising such selfish and self centered little bastards Like GW Bush.
Southernbelle1215, thank you from the bottom of my own southern heart. I am glad to know this blogger and find her to be one of the most repsectable, intelligent and kind mothers I've ever met. You've reminded me of how good she really is and off-center southern women can be. Thank the maker we aren't all like you!!

I love my life, thanks girls!


Anonymous said...

I think I might be the only person who DOES agree with Sweet Southern Belle.

Anonymous said...

Then you must be a Southern POS too!

SweetSouthernBelle1215 said...

Me walk a moment in YOUR shoes .. HA try walking one in MINE...don't try being so self righteous..A bitch you certainly are..If you don't want comments such as mine you should not put you life up for everyone to read..and I had just started this blog I did not have any imformation up ..Believe me I am not "worried" about anything you write about me for the simple reason I know who I am and what I am about ...As far as the comment about GW Bush.. Can't stand the bastard and I am as my father who is a Bostonian say's a Yellow Dog Democrat..You are raising ONE Child with the support of your EX husband unless when he isn't with you you send him off with strangers..I have my Children all the time and I NEVER complain ..Nor do I ever have a mental break down in the Car with my Children because I can not work out.Use your brain hire a personal trainer to come to your home .. Thant's what I do .. and I have a jogging stroller that I take my beautiful daughter running with me.So again I say STOP with all the "pitty parties" Your Child is this AGE once you CAN NOT REGAIN THIS TIME..Grow UP ! ! Once you have children you life is no longer about YOU YOU YOU ! ! ! You sound as if you are someone that is UNHAPPY with yourself.. and until YOU can make yourself happy NO ONE else will be able to bring HAPPINESS into your life ! ! ! ! !

Your Bitchy SouthernBelle ! !

Anonymous said...

I recently heard that girls (especially teenage girls) are way more likely than boys to engage in "cyber-bullying" anonymously. Assuming that most of the people who commented on the original email(including me) are way past the teenage years, we're not above saying nasty things to people we don't even know.

Sweet Southern Bell, the thing is, you may not agree with FlyDi's blog entries, but you don't know her, you don't know the full story (for example, I would venture to say that she is supporting her ex and NOT the other way around). To say comments like "if you were a better woman, you wouldn't be divorced" is simply unfair.

I don't have kids, but I do know that life is hard. And one way to deal with it is to write about it, whether in a personal journal or an online blog. Venting frustration or sadness in writing isn't a "pity party" - it's just venting. Who hasn't broken down and cried every now and again?

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but we should respect those who are different. I just wish we all could be better than the nastiness that has resulted from these exchanges.


Anonymous said...

I don't know, upon reading more of FlyDi's blogs, it seems more often than not, she uses the fact that she has a child as a crutch for her own emotional problems, especially those that deal with members of the opposite doubt she has entered each and every relationship with her own commensurate amount of baggage, and assumptions about how she will be perceived... so rather than deal with her own issues, she chooses to let everything else around her be at fault. If you do know her personally, your judgement is clouded. Anyone else can see that southernbelle, who by no means is faultless, has a point.

Anonymous said...

Yeah.... that makes sense...." If you know her personally, your judgement is clouded". Brilliant....So if you truly know this person, and her child, and her past, then I would think your judgement would be clearer than some stranger who reads crap responses from other strangers.... unless it's a gang of people attacking Fly Di.....then it makes perfect sense. Safety in numbers, right cowards?!

"HA try walking one in MINE (shoes) ".....I didn't think barefoot and pregnant at home included the use of shoes.....


DebutanteDoll said...

Tsk Tsk Tsk, SweetSouthernBelle. I am amazed. Not only can you touch your nose to the ground in the Texas Swan Dive of a curtsy, but you can rear your permed mane medusa-style! Wow!
First, let me say that reading your posts are like watching Brie Van de Camp on Wisteria Lane. Amazing!
I would run down my list of southern accolades to justify where I'm coming from when I actually start the meat of this post, but truly, there are too many - not to mention that my mother would kick my tail if she knew I was telling the world about my family. I will highlight some though: Debutante (local and International), member of Mensa, active in the Junior League of Atlanta, Daughters of the Confederacy, Daughters of the Revolutionary War, my dad is a surgeon, my mom is a homemaker (like yourself), I am an only child, and graduated from a highly acclaimed small southern liberal arts school. Many more, but I won't bore you with the specifics. Essentially I would like to draw the conclusion that you and I probably live very similar lives, or could choose to live very similar lives.
What you have said about Flydi is incredibly asanine. (It's the grown up word for stupid. By the looks of your lack of aptitude in spelling, I thought I'd let you brush up on your vocabulary.) Being a single mother takes the courage, patience, commitment, and love that you know nothing about. I am ashamed that you and I could be so similar and yet you are so close-minded. That's fantastic that you jog with your daughter. I'm sure you do it at 3 pm so that you can be home for Oprah. Flydi does not have that luxury. She is working so that she can keep her child "alive". (I can't believe your comments on that, too.) A single mother is one of the most nurturing, patient, loving creatures alive. They give their 100% all to their children because, many times, they are all their children have. It is easy to let children of one-parent families slip away, but Flydi seems like she holds on tight to her son 24/7. You have to juggle career-child-self. Have you tried that? And another thing - you assume that your life is so tough. Do you have a husband to lean on? Does he take the kids once in a while to give you a break? Does he give them adequate love so that they know both parents love them? Do you do everything in your power to make your kids happy? Are you selfish EVER? "Mommy needs a nap. Daddy, watch the kids." Guess what? Flydi is a SINGLE mother. Which means she doesn't GET a SINGLE BREAK!
Now, what would you suggest Flydi "should" have done? Stayed in a faulty marriage so that she could get a break? Been miserable so that she could show her son that Mommy and Daddy don't get along? No - she chose to love her son and get out of a situation that apparently wasn't going well. I am appalled that you would suggest that she do otherwise. Children are WORK. I'm sure you know that. They do not sit idly by while you shop. They throw Lucky Charms in the buggy when you least expect it. Were you never responsible for "Clean Up on Aisle 5"? Did you smile and think it was cute, or were your mortified? Could you then take the children home and say "I can't deal with him/her right now, you take them" to their father? Because you are a LIAR if you say no. Flydi has no crutch. It is she who is stronger than most, she who loves her child in a way that you cannot fathom because you are NOT in her shoes, she who has more courage to brave this world alone and with a child. It's a brutal world, SSB, and Flydi does not need impudent shits like yourself telling her that she has done one thing wrong. Instead, encourage her. Tell her she's doing a wonderful job raising a child by herself and that you can't imagine the strife she must go through making a life for herself and her child. Daycare alone in Atlanta is more than college tuition at a private school. What do you suggest she do? Quit her job so she can be with her kid - oh, wait...and then be homeless? I'm confused, SSB, what IS the better way for Flydi to go about this whole thing? Please let me know...

Anonymous said...

Well personally I believe that Sweet Southern Belle has some very valid points.Maybe if ya'll would read FlyDi's entire Blog you would see why this person was so enraged.
FlyDi seems very self involved and is more worried about herself than anything else.Everyone that writes in feeling sorry for FlyDi seems to know her personally so that means you can't be objective.

SweetSouthernBelle1215 said...

Dear debutantedoll,
Did you not understand the part where I said I was a single mother of not one but two children.My son is almost 13 and I have an adopted daughter(she is from China) that is almost 2.
I am very open minded and I do not tend to judge people.My challenge to you is to really READ FlyDi's Blog with an objective mind pretend you know nothing about her but what is written on her blog.Then feel free to write to me on MY blog and let me know how you really feel being that you are a proud southern woman.Just so you know I support my ex husband so these are not the things I judge FlyDi on. I judge her because SHE is the one that is so close minded and thinks southerners are beneath her.

DebutanteDoll said...

No - I did not do in depth research on you, SSB. I DID read all of Flydi's posts, and know - I don't really know her at all. I've gathered that she's a single mother. I'm sorry that I took a shot in the dark, and I do applaud you for not only being a single mother, but for giving Sydney a chance. However, perhaps it was this line that threw me: "Maybe if you were a better woman you wouldn't be divorced or maybe you could find yourself a nice well educated man.."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't blogs personal spaces? Where you tell personal feelings? I don't view this as a self-centered thing if you talk about me, me, me. There are TONS of stories and anecdotes about Flydi's friends and most importantly, her son. (Wallace?) Besides, the un-asked question of a personal blog is, "What's going on with me?" Should Flydi start out with saying, "Hi readers! Please leave me comments about what's going on with you so that I can post relevant questions later and therefore won't sound so selfish"? A blog is about YOU. I don't understand where Flydi is going wrong in your eyes? Was it where she was taking her kid to daycare to play with other kids in a new environment while she was working out? Or was it when she found out the daycare was closed and she took him to his favorite playground?

Upon the better understanding that you, too, are a single mother, I'm even more befuddled at some of your comments. I think it's the line on your blog (not verbatim): I'm semi-retired and have chosen to take time to spend with my two children. So you understand juggling? You understand not being able to be with your children when you want to? Why blast Flydi with such tonguelashing remarks? I'm really more taken aback now than anything. Why are you not cheering her on and saying I UNDERSTAND! Because...I would would have to understand!

SweetSouthernBelle1215 said...

Dear Debdoll,
It is not the fact that she must work it is the fact that she states things such as "I have kept a child alive for another year". I find that statement appualing. Animals can keep people alive. You know that having children is more than keeping them alive. I know nothing about this woman but what I have read. The fact that she had a mental break down because she couldn't work out PLEASE..This is not something to have a mental break down about ESPECIALLY when your child is in the car with you! ! My son and my daughter are sweet, kind and well behaved. My 13 yr old son is a teen leader in our community. I as a single mother went and adopted ANOTHER child to love and raise. Yes I have had to balance my life but I never viewed it as a burden or a chore that I did because I had no other choice. This woman believes she is better than any southern woman just because she is from Boston. Now to me that is close minded.I was lucky because I was able to choose careers that enabled me to bring my children with me or make sure someone I knew and trusted could be with them when I was not. I stand by all I have said. Stop all the pitty parites and nut UP FlyDi! !

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with self-preservation? What is wrong with trying to lead a life while bringing up a child? What is wrong with trying to keep your sanity? Nothing. Crying is not a nervous breakdown, it’s a release. You go to a movie you cry, you feel better. You don’t go and say, gee went to the movies and had a breakdown. Sounds to me that Sweetsouthernbelle is one of these closed minded persons that think that you should stay in a marriage even when it went bad, at all cost, and that everything should be about sacrifice, sacrifice without no personal life. Perhaps there’s more self projection and anger and the only way to vent that is to unleash all that into FlyDi.


SweetSouthernBelle1215 said...

You seem to be missing the fact that I TOO am a single Mother. I do not believe you should stay in a miserable marriage, but I also do not think that you have mental break downs in front of your CHILD! ! When you have a Child it's no longer about YOU it's about doing what is BEST for said Child. By doing that you do not have to lose your identity but you have to make motherhood the most important job you have ! ! I stand by all I have said ...FlyDi's problem isn't that she is a working single mother.The problem is how she views being a mother..

Anonymous said...

You’re a single mother, but you think that somehow the only formula that works to achieve that is your way. I do find that narrow minded, particularly when it fails to see that two things are taking place here, one, venting, thus letting the muse and emotions that are bottled inside come out, unedited; second that even though FlyDi talks about trials and tribulations, she also has placed that child at the center of her life and meaning of her existence. So you misconstrue creative license with a nervous breakdown, and self doubt and discovery with weakness. Perhaps you need to dig deep and see inside, because it you told me that everyday in your life as a single child is a pillar of strength and everything was perfect, I would say you live in denial. Also remember that FlyDi is a creative person, very in tune with a whole range of emotions, which means that while others just give you big expletives she can take you through the nuance of a true emotion. And that is why you are here, even complaining about that. So in a way, you too were moved by her approach.


SweetSouthernBelle1215 said...

I wouldn't call what I was moved I would call it disturbed..Just for your information I have made my living being a creative individual. For the record I am not close minded at all. First off this woman insulted me as a southern woman and insulted all mother whether they are single or not. No my life as a single mother is not perfect but do I allow my children to see me break down because I can't go work out for an hour with out them NO! ! It doesn't matter if you are single or not being a parent is hard work. As I said and will say again you have to do more than just "keep them alive"! ! !

Anonymous said...

I find it very telling that SSB had to read the entire blog to respond. Most people I know who are so offended would just move on and let it go. Begs the question "why was this blog so riviting?"

I find blogs themselves entertaining, however from reading one it is difficult to gain an accurate picture of a total person and the context of their life. Each has valid points and could learn from each other.

It is very impressive how passionate this discussion has been. It is very clear that each of these women is a mother who cares deeply for her child(ren). I hope you will share your passion for engaging discussion with your offspring. We can all learn something from seeing ourselves from another perspective.