Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hunting

So. I just remembered this story while out walking my dog. I was thinking about some of the weirdest dates I had been on thus triggering an e-contest with my friends to see who could come up with the oddest and/or funniest date. Votes are still rolling in, but I believe I may have the winner.

A while ago I met a nice guy for a late dinner at a diner. He is very handsome, big blue eyes, tall, fit, nice smile - ya know all the superficial stuff. He swore that he "loved kids" and even had the job to prove it as he is a middle school phys ed teacher. I thought "ok, this guy has some potential". Woooo hooo was I wrong! Man I am already laughing as I type this thinking back to when I thought this was even a possibility.

Ok, the first red flag goes a little somethin' like this: during dinner he talks about sleeping with some girl who showed up at his friends house when they were watching football. He had never met her before, wasnt attracted to her but since she was willing "why not?". Sleeping is a much kinder word than what he used. I dont even remember why he was telling me this!

Next was the description of how he typically meets women. "I go to the mall and have no problem asking girls for their phone number. Sometimes I run into my students and ask them where all the nice girls are." WTF????? His students?? PICKING UP CHICKS AT THE MALL??? This bohunk is almost 40 folks. Yuck.

He tried to convince me to let him come over to my house. Bad idea. All I wanted to do was have the date end! I told him that we didnt have a lot in common and that I wasnt the right girl for him. He continued to ask me why, and with each attempt I grew more and more impatient with him as he clearly didnt get that I was an inch away from shoving an apple in his mouth and roasting him on a spit. I did however manage to tell him that my dog loved to go swimming, leading into the fact I am an outdoorsy type person and he is not - YET another reason we were not a good fit.

His response is painfully funny. He launched into a description of hunting with his cats. Yes ...CATS. "hunting is about as outdoorsy as you can get" he said, "I felt bad for my cats so I brought them with me one day to hunt squirrels." I naturally assumed the cats were on their own, but I went ahead and asked anyway "How did you keep track of your cats while you were laying very still in the grass hunting squirrels?". He replied with, I kid you not, "Oh I didnt let them out of the carrier! Christ they would have run away! I just wanted them to watch me."

Such a waste of a handsome man. *sigh*

1 comment:

Scarlett said...

What an ass and an idiot.