Match.com Part Deux

Here is a medley of emails I have received, identities of course protected, for you all to read and enjoy. I am amused by some - horrified by others. Overall I enjoy these emails and I thought it might help some of the guys out there to see what kind of emails get a response and which ones dont.

so here goes!

From a friend who wrongfully assumed my meeting a firefighter in a bar meant that I slept with him:

"should have you charged !...with contributing to the delinquency and emotional immaturity (and ths perpetuating the whole gawd damn hero mentality)of an intellectal and maturity minor !!!!!!!! :(a FIREMAN!!! how could you Di ? :(no mater the fact that WE know you've used HIM, he willthink...and in short time gladly pass on to his testosterone-fueled bretheren, that he 'scored' with you:(Oh, the horror !you've CRUSHED me :(:(:(........................ (tears)couldn' t you have perhaps, found an eager Paramedic or computer geek that would so much more have appreciated a few divine moments with a goddess?\i'm a broken man...... oh, and it's not 'over' as ofyet....just finished having to 'babysit' her/daughter, after a particualry awful (and icky) bought of the stomach flu...oh, how i LOVE the power ofGUILT my deear Diane !!!!!!in case i miss you..have a FANTASTIC NEW YEARS EVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...and no more hoseheads!

Dont know this guy at all:
"Hello There!!!are you from the UK?

In response to my comment about loving a man with tools:
"something witty...Back roads... yes I agree. I have a feeling that you've read Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. As far as tools go... I can fix anything... wha'cha got, let me at it... lol...Just wanted to say hello... happy New Year"

"hey, will you email me?? I am interested in you! Your profile is so cool. Actually my brother is living in Boston for now. I am conservative politically, but your liberal views don't scare me away, actually it may be a breath of fresh air. My picture is going to be on anytime so i promise I am normal and not some wierd guy who does not want to post a pic or anything. I hope you write back, and I am a builder, not a carpenter; however, I do have some tools!! ha ha"

General Emails received:
"Where do I sign? Hmmm...so much to say...must impress you....what exactly is a wicked pisser? Ok, you are stunning--just had to get that out first. I really like you from the little you have shared (with the world).How about this...I am tongue tied because I am enjoying reading about you so much, laughing that you'd go to dinner without makeup (you don't need any!).How old is your son? It's funny that I find myself increasingly attracted to single mothers. I've known for a long time that making babies of my own is not a priority (6.5 billion little miracles are enough), but I irresistably love children and nurturing and so maybe it will work out that I get together with a goddess that has already brought forth a couple precious new souls, and then I give all the help I can.Lets go exploring sometime. Have you ever been to the quarry in Bankhead? There are eagles...or at least hawks. Sweetwater Creek is brilliant as well.Forgive my rushing ahead: I love you. Happy New Year! I wish you the best of life, love and luck for 2007.Oh, here's a humor compatibility test: How many gerbils does it take to screw in a light bulb?Peace,"

"I'm willing.....
to get that leg lengthening operation (or stuff card board in my shoes) to make height......or maybe I just need more cow bell."

"Hi Celtic Girl........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi.....I'm politically conservative and socially liberal, but, we would do OK, because, I really do appreciate everyone's opinion...Is'nt that what makes the USA GREAT !....,I'm not afraid to go out without makeup either !.....I like traveling, but dont enjoy doing it for business anymore (Security lines are too long)and outside, not in the ATL in the summer.......And, your dog would love me,they always do.....Do'nt ever trust anybody that your dog does'nt (seriously)...I'm going bck to bed, it's only like 6:40AM....Bye..."

"hello angel
Hello dear, How are you ? i will say you are really pretty, you are like an angel. I am really amazed. I am Godfrey, am 42yrs old,i work with an advertising company.I am currently a single. i would really love to say much about me,but when i am being asked. Dear, i want to know you much more better, maybe to get to reach GOD more easily. knowing an angel is like knowing the personal asistant of GOD. Please endeavour to send me a reply,you can add me to your yahoo IM my id is (xxxgodfrey4love) while my email address is xxxgodfrey4love@yahoo.com. i will love to chat with you on yahoo chat so we can get to know more about our self, I will be greatly honoured by it. I wait with curiousity to hear from you. Till then. Have a loving day. and may your best of yesterday,be your worst today.i strongly belive that Love is the shortest distance between hearts,when the heartbeat for each other.when we open our heart to one another.we can feel the emotions.and Distance does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another.i know that Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.stay cool.Godfrey