Thursday, June 16, 2005

My Online Experiences So Far....

Hmm, where to begin? So many men, so little time. In fact, so little time to write back to the slew of freaks who email me. I am shocked at the types of men who actually have online profiles. I love it when they demand that I respond "either way" and let them know if I am or am not interested in them. Let's think about this one. They dont even know me and they are ALREADY making demands. Off to a great start, I tell ya!

Here are some snippets of emails some of these men have sent me:

"um. I am am your baby!!! How are you?!!!" - this from a guy hugging minnie mouse.

"First. I guess I can forgive you for cheering the Pats and the Red Sox only because of their divisions." - I make it pretty freaken clear that I am a major Boston gal.

"oh, by the way, in the past 6 months I have adopted a more clean-shaven look!"

Oh Goodie! I cant wait to meet you then. Especially since you have shaved all your back hair off! I mean these comments are from emails written by men who I have never met - AND this is the first time they have written to me. I tried to dig up some of the religious ones for all ya'll to read but I must have deleted them suddenly. Lately I was bamboozeled. This handsome man and I emailed back and forth - banter banter banter. So I decided to call him. This was BIG. After all I had stopped the online dating for almost 3 months after some dude professed his love for me (see previous post). Ok back to the story -so I call this guy - we chat about his employment at Emory University, our personality types (I am an ENFP) and I just had to go "there". Yes, I made a flip comment about good ol' "W". I did so feeling quite confident that someone who works at EMORY and professed his liberal ways to me couldnt have possibly voted for the guy. I WAS SO WRONG. He got all fired up and even challenged me on my liberalness. He even mocked me when I said "I am so sorry. I just cant date someone who voted for such an idiot." Poor guy. He has so much going for him!

I am a complete liar. I dated a nice man a month ago. Very handsome, in his 40's and yet another professor. He was divorced with 2 young boys and a sexy aversion to motorcycles and vintage t-shirts. First time I met him he was pulling into the parking lot of this bar - I noticed the vintage 60's truck he was driving first - then I realized it was my date! woo hoo! He looked great sitting in this old restored truck. Bright blue eyes, big smile and gorgeous curly dark brown hair. We had a great date. Being a father himself, he felt rather comfortable asking about my breastfeeding experiences. My what?! Yes he asked me about my BREASTFEEDING experiences. Now, I rolled with it - but breastfeeding is THE LEAST SEXY thing you can possibly talk about on a first date. Anyway - I quickly derailed our conversation into the gutter (per usual) and managed to get him to talk about his sex life. He admitted that he had lost his virginity at age 25 to his x-wife. Now, my hamster brain quickly calculated that he has only been divorced a year so that equals ONE sexual partner in his life total. TOTAL. My enthusiasm quickly checked out after that.

I was just informed of a new reality show coming out the follows a bunch of broads and their online dating experiences. I highly recommend tuning into this.

over and out yo!


Anonymous said...

Di-I'm one of your best friends and I voted for W twice! And I'm a solid New England girl too. ANd you like ME!!! You have to get past the whole W thing. Republicans are not evil people. I think we should start an online therapy group or you simply won't make it through the next 3 years.


JoJo said...

Quote from D's Text..."for all ya'll to read"...

Ya'll? Ya'll??!!??

What have they done to you??? Do you even say 'wicked' anymore, or do they ban that word once you leave Massachusetts?